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Contemplations upon the eve of my departure |
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This is the last night that I shall be in my apartment for a little over a month. It will also be the longest I've been out of this adopted city of mine since I moved here almost two years ago.
I'm not really too nervous, but I find myself in contemplation. Will my friend keep his word and keep my plants alive? Will I have forgotten to clean something totally vital?
More importantly, will my teachers really just allow me to miss a month of classes like that? I am doing all the homework and turning it in online...but will I be able to pass the classes still? And if not, when can I retake them? A part of my ethics as a student who has (Until now?) received all exceptional marks is telling me that I should just cut my losses and drop all my classes before I fail them. Another part of me is going to place some faith in my professors and hope that they keep their word on giving me participation points, and accepting my assignments online.
I have heard that internet connection over on Iwakuni is less than reliable, and that I shouldn't expect to get too much accomplished online, aside from turning in homework. Does this mean that I won't be on Gaia much for a whole month? While that kind of hurts to think about, it, as with everything else, is a sacrifice I must be willing to make.
It's ironic, really. Before this, I was all about going to Japan-just taking off and going, like some pathetic anime fan who is ignorant to the fact that the country is deceptive in its face-value image. Now, here I am boldly rushing to Japan, not because of the excitement and culture-but instead to save my marriage.
So yeah...that's another thing. Anyone reading this now, is probably wondering, "Wait...Elly has a less than perfect marriage at the moment?" See-the thing is, I really screwed up, and I took this deployment harder than I had thought I would (I let my pride get the better of me). I broke the trust my husband had placed in me, and now, I am travelling across the world to attempt to make it all right again. Before you all concern yourselves, no we are not getting a divorce, or even a seperation. We know that in order to rebuild what we accidentally tore down, we have to grow together. We still are very much in love, and we're still best friends, but hearts take a little effort to heal.
I think--above all--when you think of me going to Japan, please don't allow the thought, "She's so lucky!" to cross your mind. I'm not going as a tourist, though I may go see some sights, I'm not going as some pathetic anime fan with wierd delusions about encountering some J-pop band, I'm going as a wife who needs to be with her husband.
That being said...if one more person asks me to get Dir en Grey's autograph...
 Elainya · Mon Mar 19, 2007 @ 02:58am · 4 Comments |
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