Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Well I'm here to bomb on love. Why? I'll tell you why. CAUSE IT SUCKS! The feeling is awesome don't get me wrong but the feeling you get after the break up ******** sucks ballz! I'm through with that feeling I'd rather live my life loveless than have love and have pain along with it. Oh just to let you know it's not your fault, you know who you are. ANYWAY! I've seen friends go emo cause of it, and I'm already getting there and I'm just trying to stop it. Plus I'm tired of being "caring" all the time. What's the use? I wish I was more serious than caring, I'm kinda weird, well I am weird but you get my point. Alot of people who I thought were my friends took advantage of that kindness thus leaving me with a feeling that I shouldn't trust anyone. Sometimes I wish that I'd die altogether that way I wouldn't ruin peoples lives as I've been told that by my "friends" notice the quotations. But seriously I think I'm the most horrible person there is in the world. Please don't let my "high" self-esteem choke you now. I guess I'm just letting it all out instead of bombing on love so ignore the first sentence. Sometimes I pity the couples that I've seen, but I also envy them. I pity them cause they think they're in love and when they brake up they wonder why they even got into a relationship. I envy them because they have what I don't. Love. They know that they'll have each other even if it's for a brief period of time, and what do I have? Just myself to hug. Gosh I sound emo don't I? *slaps self* ok I think I'm good now. All of what you read as lead me to not get too emotionally close to the people that I meet. Except my friends so feel blessed if you know you're my friend. Well all this bitching and complaining has wore me out. Not to metion the song "note to self" by From first to last, has finished. Check them out, you might like them. But then again you might not, it doesn't matter to me. Well later days! wink