Time to Say Goodbye
Approx. Word Count: 1,3OO
Beep. Beep. Beep.
The heart monitor was like a lullaby in the background, but it was not enough to console Alice, who had been awake for well over twenty-four hours. It was approximately twenty-six hours ago that she received a phone call from the doctors, who informed her that her husband's condition had worsened. They prompted her to hurry over to the hospital to see him, for it could very well be his last day alive.
She had heard this same line for well over two years, when he had first been diagnosed with cancer. However, in recent times, even Alice had become aware that Rick, her husband, was growing weaker and that his days were limited. So, naturally, like all the times before, she had rushed over. Hoping and praying that he would survive to see tomorrow.
Her eyelids sagged over her luminous emerald eyes, tears spilling down her cheeks.
"It's okay," he reassured in a hoarse voice, peering over at the blonde-haired female while squeezing her hand.
"It's over," she sputtered in-between sobs, jerking her hand away from him, "It's all over!" Her slender digits slid over the length of her face, hiding her away from him.
"Alice," he cooed, in the most gentle and soft voice he could manage, lifting his hand to caress the exposed side of her cheek, "Stop crying for me, you'll be okay."
"You said it yourself, Rick!" Alice snapped, pulling away from the hospital bed. The legs of the chair she occupied squealed in resistance as they were pushed backward.
"I know."
Hunching over, Alice turned her back to her husband, unable to face him anymore. It only hurt her more to have to look at the person she loved the most. If only that same person didn't have to leave her.
"The kids are okay. You're still as stubborn and headstrong as you were when you were younger. I'm sure you can make it, Alice." Rick was a dying man, and perhaps this is why he sounded so desperate with his words; he was pleading with her to be okay. After all, no tears would fix that which had already been broken. Nor could anything console the broken-hearted woman beside him.
"You don't understand," she retorted, now calm enough to argue, "How am I going to be able to... How are the children... What am I suppose to do!?"
He smiled weakly at her, a gesture of reassurance, which was the only thing he could offer her at this point. Rick remembered, vividly, the day that he had made her happiest. The day that he had been happiest.
That was back... Back when we married. When we shared our first kissed as husband and wife, he thought.
If he wished hard enough, could he go back to those times, then? No, absolutely not; Rick was condemned to the fate that God had handed him. He was destined to die and leave his wife, Alice, behind... Not only would she be left alone to take care of the kids, but she would be a single working mom in a country that frowned upon such a condition. A condition that she would not chose, but instead be handed.
"I'm sorry," he apologized for the umpteenth time since Alice had burst into his hospital room yesterday, "I wish things were different." Rick wished he could go on to tell her about how afraid he was. For he had never been so scared in his life, not of anything, until now. He was afraid for his family that would have to go on without him, and terrified of his own death. It was only thirty-three years ago that he had been an infant in his mama's arms. Rick had barely been allowed to live his life, and now it was all over. This was the end of his story.
"You're tired, aren't you?" She asked, or more or less croaked.
He shook his head in denial, though the truth was obvious: Rick was absolutely exhausted. Tired of trying to hang on to the little bit of life that remained, and sick of fighting his own illness.
Alice knew him too well, though. "I'll leave soon so you can rest."
Rick held himself back from telling her not to leave. He knew that he only had a limited amount of time left, but... The last thing he wanted was to make Alice sit there and watch him fade away in a hospital bed. At least she could be preoccupied with the children or work when she found out. It would hurt less then, or at least he hoped so.
"I'll be back tomorrow, okay? Sleep 'til I come back." Her lips moved slowly to the words as she rose to her feet. Alice leaned forward and planted a kiss upon his forehead, a weak smile on her face as she ambled over to the door.
"Yeah, I'll be here," he lied with a feigned smile.
She glanced back at him once to return the gesture before disappearing through the white door, her footsteps fading in his ears.
Rick leaned back against the pillow and closed his eyes. The silence was peaceful, but he was honestly sick of it. He wished he could be back in the noisy chaos of his own kitchen, where both of his children were probably at now, arguing with each other about something irrelevant. No doubt his mother-in-law had been forced to watch them while Alice visited him.
For once, Rick allowed himself the luxury of relaxing. His entire body seemed to go limp as he surrendered himself into the lure of sleep. Whether it was temporary or permanent, he assumed it to be the latter.
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
The line on the monitor stopped curving up and down. Instead it had become a completely straight line, cords connecting it to a peaceful man on a bland hospital bed. A man who was smiling, despite having finally met death.
______________________________
"Mom, come on! I want to go... It's cold out here!"
"Are you crying, mom?"
Alice quickly wiped away the tears with the sleeve of her coat. "Yeah, sorry. I was just thinking." She glanced over at her husband 's grave, where she had placed a rose upon his headstone. Even though it had been seven years since she had lost him, it still hurt every time she visited.
"It's okay, mom, everyone cries when they have to say goodbye," The little girl assured, clinging to the tall female's leg. Her brilliant cerulean eyes peered upward, a hopeful smile upon her small rosy lips, "But don't worry... Daddy's coming with us to explore new lands, too!"
She nodded. "Yes, they do, sweetheart."
The teenage boy standing a few feet away sighed at the two. "If we don't hurry, we won't be able to board the plane in time."
"Alright, alright," Alice surrendered with a smile, whisking her younger female child up and planting her upon the side of her hip. Extending a finger, she poked the small girl's nose, "Thank you, Leanna." The child grinned in response as she was carried to the car, where she was placed securely in a car seat.
As Alice took her seat behind the wheel, she reflected on past memories. Seven years ago, back when she lost Rick, she had never even dreamed of moving to a new country. Now that she had the chance, the possibilities were endless for her, as well as her kids. It was a new life for all of them.
I just wish that you could've come with us, Rick, she thought, gripping the steering wheel tightly.
According to her daughter, who was the spitting image of her father, it was time to say goodbye and let go. That was okay, too, because Rick would be coming with Alice, even if it was only in spirit. That was enough for her.
