i really have no good reason for my being so angry these days. because J doesn't like me? not a good reason. because N found someone with potential, making me extremely jealous? yet another not so good reason. i guess i really have no good alibi for feeling so pitiful, not to mention sorry for myself. i guess this is just the whole 'being alone all break' thing kicking in.
im both anxious and fearful for going back to school. i don't want to see him, as to have those stupid feelings make me even more insecure. i think i'm too used to these 'emotions.' im such a typical emo boy. i guess a boy with glasses that feels emotional already fits the description, doesn't it? my religion tells me that God only makes me go through what i can handle. for a while, i've been trying to follow that so as to give myself some hope to hang on to after slipping on each stepping stone in my life. for a while, there was hope. but im not so sure now......but like the saying goes: "where there is darkness, there is light" so there's always hope for me to hang on to, right?..............right?
cross my fingers, and hope to die; i'd like to stick a needle in his eye
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