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then i guess u owe me 10 bucks dont u? carole i understand that ur trying to support me... but ur going about it all wrong... some people r like u, they are driven by people calling them a failure... the reason they push so hard is to push back at everyone who said they couldnt do it... thats who u r... thats not me... i work with support... when someone calls me useless and worthless it makes me feel like i am and i just wanna give up! kevin has the right idea, and so does riku... he talked to me last night... and he gave me some serious motivation... i might even be starting college this fall... so any job i get now is gonna be either part time, or full but i wont keep it for long... carole, i appreciate what ur trying to do for me... but ur going about it the wrong way... all i ask is that u support me, tell me its ok, let me know that im not a good for nothing, and just be there for me... id like to go back to school... but i cant do sumthing like this alone... i need the support of my friends. that all i have anymore, is my friends... and if my best friend, the one person i care about mroe than anyone, calls me worthless and says she gives up on me... then what do i have left? thanks for trying carole anyways... im prob gonna head back into town today and look around some more... i only hope its not cold -_-... and i may still be using gaia... but its cuz people like riku and my other friends support me and give me a little of the motivation i need to get up and do sumthing with my life... its time i spread my wings and fly... but without wind under my wings, ill fall like all the rest...

and im sorry about ur life falling apart yet again... u know if u need someone to talk to... im just a call away or an email away... or u can always give jake a note... carole i care about u and im here to help u.. thats what friends r for... i told u, thru thick or thin, ill stick by u always