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So there I was, doing the dishes, like a good girl... And then mom comes up behind me, I said "Hey mom how was your da-" She grabbed my head and pushed me under the dishwater..... I struggled, but eventually lost strength... I was starting to get light headed and I saw Danny... Yes... I saw Danny... Of all people.. I get tortured by the last time I saw him before he died... He was standing there, sad look on his face, He was talking but I couldn't hear him, then there was the lift of moms hand.... I came up... Fell backwards and gasped for air.... Dripping water everywhere, after what felt like forever, I got up, looked her in the eye, said "b***h!" and Aimed a punch, of course I missed because she moved..... She banged my head against the wall... and I just gave up... And cried... I'm just so tired of this... I miss when she was "Mommy"..... Not... a monsterous person who beats her daughter... She still says it was my fault Danny commited suicide... She says he hated me so much he wanted to die.. I told her it was HER fault, because she beat him..... And when he wasn't home... She hit ANYTHING she find.... And eventually, me.... Thats all i thought about while I cried... She said "Get your a** up, I won't have a queer daughter, and I won't have a p***y one either, if you don't clean up, next time I won't let go. You need to be straight, and loyal to men. You need to be tough, and show em whos boss Hanna." I looked her in the eye and said (( Kinda breathy from crying )) "Do I need to beat my kids too?? Do i need to be like you?! DO I NEED TO BE A MONSTER?" She smiled... Yeah... SMILED when I said that... She said "Get up" So I did, likely, and of course, Tried to hit her again. Mistake.... She grabbed my arm and twisted it.... And I REALLY gave up then.. I just came straight to the computer and Wrote this... Thanks to those who read... I just felt I should write about it... Reasons unknown...