I am sorry to say that my emotional tornado is still far from subsiding.
Currently, I feel Anger, Confusion, Anxiety and Depression....
Yes, these are not the best of moods. Which simply makes me more angry at the fact that I'm allowing it to effect me so.
The little dilemma last night was mostly my own fault, due to the fact that I misunderstood something and searched furiously for an answer to it. For that situation, I was angry for being tricked once again, angry at complete disregard for other's emotions, and angry at myself for letting it happen. I was actually over it this morning too. But no...I had to unfortunately be reminded of the entire ordeal again and now the anger of last night is mixing in with the once rather joyful emotions I had only 20 minutes ago...
And now, I am trying to vent it out by writing it down in here and desperately searching for a catalyst in which to spur better emotions. At the moment, nothing is working.
I doubt I will come out with it today if I continue down this road of pure, unexplainable anger.
Today's Summary of Anger: Don't feel sorry for me because that will sprout even more anger
These are the reactions that I am resisting...
"Good morning!" IS IT?!
"Hey! I found this new manga! You should read it" F*** OFF!
"My day has started out poorly.." I don't CARE! GET OVER IT AND EAT SOME CHOCOLATE! THEN LET ME KNOW HOW THE REST OF YOUR DAY WENT SO I CAN RIP OUT YOUR F***ING SKULL AND USE YOUR EYES AS PINGPONG BALLS!
"Could I have my CD back...?" I need to listen to something so I don't explode... "I'll give it you later." F*** you! I have to have it NOW!
"Its so cold outside!" Don't even start with me about being cold...
"Let's watch depressing MVs" Wonderful! And while we're at it, let's all take shots of vodka and tissue paper so we can get so s**t-faced we slit our wrists before the night is through!
"Hey, watch the language, please." I'm sorry if my colorful language is too much for you. Let me use sign language to show you that I'm sorry *raises middle finger* F*** you, please.
And that ends today's journal...
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crying I swear I'm so sorry! Please dont bite my head off. gonk