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Kenneth's Thoughts/Story's
My journal basicly is going to be for putting on my thoguht, maybee taking to my firneds and getting out messeges, and mainly, I am going to use it to poat the story I am working on so far.
My test poem..?
No name yet.. I wrote tihs in English class.. Is it good? Be honest!

Sweat slowly beads down my ill-fevered head,
As me eyes fall lost in th starless dark,
I sit up, scarred, sleepless in the bed,
The nigthmarish curse has left its mark,
My eyes, my min d, they pulse in pain,
What have I seen to cause this turmoil,
Though, in my mind, I feel sanities strain,
Like a clever trap to set me in soil,
My mind screams sleep, but my heart says wake,
A knock on the door, a creak and another,
Am I still asleep, my teddybear did shake,
And on wen't the light, sweet face of my mother

When sick or in trouble, do not be sad,
A mothers sweet hug will make you feel glad.

Well..?






User Comments: [3]
Jamanda
Community Member





Mon Nov 27, 2006 @ 10:48pm


this is realy good WAY beter then what i could ever write sweatdrop


Kibozomi
Community Member





Mon Dec 04, 2006 @ 08:37pm


At least it's not entirely depressing...
I'm sorry if the comment sounded a little sour, but I hate a lot of sad poems.


Ceiryne
Community Member





Tue Dec 19, 2006 @ 09:53pm


I think it's pretty good, but I'm no expert in poetr. It captures the emotions of a nightmare quite well. Actually...my poetry sucks. I'm impressed with yours. I know I'll never be able to do anything like this. Keep up the good work!


User Comments: [3]
 
 
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