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Untitled Entry (******..) So I'm basically left with nothing now. I mean, I knew and evertthing. **** KNEW it and I just let it happen to me. Why do I do this to myself? I could have stopped it before I lost him completely, but now, I'm sure I did.. I don't see how anything can put up with my st to tell you the truth. So yeah.. I'm not so happy. But I have booze so I'm sure things can only get better. Or I'll get drunk enough to lose my rationality and do something stupid. Not that it would matter, people would get over it. >_< My head hurts. People should die. All of them. Well not all of them... The ones I like can stay. But the rest of them... Yep. Idiots. Bloody ******** whores. I hate those ones. Ugh. I want Mike... Right now.... God.... I dont think I'm gonna get any sleep tonight. Or tomorrow. This is too much for me. Why cant it be friday? School... Those people.... sighs SHUT THE ****** UP ALREADY! My GOD!!!! I'm so mad at myself. I want to just shout at myself, but what the **** would that do for me? I'm crazy.. I am **** insane. I swear I've lost it, Ive never felt like this before. For the past month... Everything has just been hitting me so hard. So I felt like being happy and found something I wanted. But do I even get that tiny little thing? Of course I dont. I'm not good enough for happiness I guess. I am not okay. I lied to all of you. I'm not **** fine. I dont think I'm going to be okay right now. And just more talking about my father, on top of that. Its too much seriously. I want to go home. I want that so bad. But I have nothing to go there foir anymore. it wouldnt be the same. No. I'm **** everyhting up. They all probably know what I said to Mike. Lovely... I'm so **** lonely here. There's nobody I can trust or talk to about anything. I cant exactly post it here, and I really cant fully trust the people I meet online. And it would just kill my mom of I told her, I cant hurt her like that. ******]

Posted by: faggy muffin Wed Nov 08, 2006 @ 04:25am

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Neon_Black
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Commented on: Wed Nov 08, 2006 @ 04:34am


	don't do anything to stupid ok

Commented on: Wed Nov 08, 2006 @ 04:35am


	sad I feel terrible for you... I wish, for you, that the people in your life were more understanding because it definitely doesn't sound like they are. I hope things get better eventually.... I'm still waiting myself

LadyHalftone
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SeuYang
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Commented on: Wed Nov 08, 2006 @ 04:41am


	I want for everyone you know in your life to be accepting. It would probably help a lot of the problems be gone. I hope you can tell your mother eventually, and I won't ask about this because it isn't my business unless you ever want it to be. I'm sorry for sounding like I think I know you. If you can bring yourself to it, play it up. But don't do anything too irresponsible. I don't know you that well, however, if it counts for something; I don't know why I'm going to say this but: I'm here for you. And I know it's never going to be enough, because we just met and it's online.

Commented on: Wed Nov 08, 2006 @ 04:54am


	I think I almost know what happened. But I won't say anything. I hope you will be okay though. Hugs We haven't known each other for very long. But I will always listen if you ever need it. <3

Atsuyo
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M3II0
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Commented on: Wed Nov 08, 2006 @ 05:24am


	I'm sorry this has happened to you. sad You didn't deserve it at all. People can be assholes and I've had times where I wish they'd all just disappear too. I also know the feeling of not having someone to trust and talk to. You can only tell your parents so much. You are deserving of happiness and I hope you can get it one day soon. Don't beat yourself up over this. And if you get drunk off your a** (which I can understand why you would do that during a time like this) make sure you stay safe. I wish I could give you more support during this time. But as you said, online relationships can only go so far. Still, when I was going through a tough time last summer, online relationships helped me a lot. I could talk to someone who was going through a situation similar to mine without actually having them involved in it. The best advice comes from people who are not involved. Try to go on walks or do something that calms you. It helps a lot. And if school's getting you down, try faking sick for a day or two to take a break. Just don't miss too much. Try to get as much sun as you can too. For some reason, it really makes you feel better. I hope you get through this okay. Even if life seems to be falling apart right now, if you just take it a day at a time, you'll get through this. And if it doesn't get any better, you can come hang out with me in California. =D P.S. Sorry for my long-windedness.

Commented on: Wed Nov 08, 2006 @ 11:41am


	Er. I don't know exactly how your feeling. But I do no that it's really hard when there's not someone to trust with something like that. I've gone through that. Anyways, I don't wanna bore you with all this so I'll just leave it to this. I hope you geel better soon!

Emixxx
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iSnuggles
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Commented on: Wed Nov 08, 2006 @ 04:53pm


	Cant help ya too much, but I give you some hugs Hope things get better <3

Commented on: Wed Nov 08, 2006 @ 08:10pm


	Please dont do anything too stupid Lune Just dont try and kill yourself, Noboby wants that to happen You have all your friends right? At least you have some friends who care about you too and they dont want you to do anything stupid and hurt yourself. -Luna

xPaniic--Priincessx
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Dark Crayola Of Doom
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Commented on: Wed Nov 08, 2006 @ 08:41pm


	Hopefully you can get threw this alright. <33

Commented on: Wed Nov 08, 2006 @ 08:50pm


	well if it helps any... im sorry... and although i might not know whats going on in your life... i understand what its like to feel like that and have no one to turn to... life sucks all around... and although you may feel like your ****** everything up... your not... its not possible to ****** everything up... it may feel like it... but your not... some people have bad time... some people have bad days... hell... some people even have bad years and lives... but there is always one person out there thats loves and cares about... and one day you'll find them... and i hope you do soon... because you should always have someone to talk to... not a parent... but a friend... so i really really... really... hope you find them soon... and wow... i cannot believe i just sounded smart... i gave good advise... or somewhat good advise... so it has to mean something... or maybe i dont know what i'm talking about... ok well i'll talk to you later... bye... Saphire

Saphire Stream
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[fableboy]
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Commented on: Wed Nov 08, 2006 @ 08:53pm


	crying I feel the smae way D: Hugglkes I'm sure you can get through it!

Commented on: Wed Nov 08, 2006 @ 08:55pm


	-sigh- I would love to be able to comfort you, and listen to you, but I don't really know you well enough to be comforting... I know that we just met, and rarely talk, but I like you lots. I think that you are definitely someone I want to become good friends with. I like to be there for people, and if you ever need someone to type pointless venting rants to, I'm here. My word might not mean much to you, but even if it seems stupid, you already mean alot to me. <33 .J.O.R.D.A.N.

Whispers of Malice
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Lovable Shibito
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Commented on: Wed Nov 08, 2006 @ 09:22pm


	gonk I wish I could be trusted. I wish I could trust. It’s all the same for MOST at this time. Maybe that’s just my own view, it sounds stupid, but scientifically, it sounds perfectly normal. blink Ah~ hug don’t get alchihol poisoning!!! crying GO HOME scream You may not have any thing to go there for except maybe to get better. That 'prolly sounds stupid, but if you lock your self away in a more ... what do you call it o.o; "relaxed??" place... Well, Home is the best place to be! Have a nice hot bath, I know it might be hard, but drown out your mind with other things, concerntrait so hard on some thing else. I find thinking about Lolita and dolling my self up when I'm depressed makes me feel kind of better. _ .; Dose that make me shallow? Sky walk! I wish I could make you all better! All I can do is put in my own input and read. It’s like o.< talking to a book... That has a mind and feelings. Well, take care, I hope things get better fast... For your sake.

Commented on: Thu Nov 09, 2006 @ 04:04am


	awsome

demon707
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(S)weet_(T)emptaion
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Commented on: Fri Nov 10, 2006 @ 05:29am


	wow I am sorry... I guess that is a kinda hollow word to use. I just want to say I care, and if you want you can talk to me. I haven't gone through as much as you might have, but I understand alot and I am here for you..... wow I read that to my self and that seems really lame like something anyone would say, but I guess that is what I can offer I can't say that I can make you feel better better but I can alwayz try. Ron misses you! sweatdrop

Commented on: Sun Nov 26, 2006 @ 04:12pm


	aww sweeie heere i promise you that if anythign goes wrong you can come and talk to me about it alright guns+humans head=mess hehe

XxXHaterXxXofXxXL0Ve
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