Yesterday My violent impulses slowly leaked out....I blurted out "I'd like to crack this guys head open"
funny thing was one of the guys friends was standing next to me when I said it
so now the guy knows....and all day so far he has been trying to provoke me into doing it "go ahead crack my head open".....but unlike all the other times,he hasnt motivated me into wanting to....I guess it wont be to much longer before I find a motive....
I still remember the last fight I got into....it was when I went back to my old town
by myself for a few days in August.Some old enemy of mine tried knifing me...I punched him in the face several times with my spiked ring...
Ive misplaced it since then it was sorta a safegaurd I suppose... Intimidated
most ppl to leave me the ******** alone
why did I get so ******** up and violent?
were did I go wrong?
I remember I used to completly happy and carefree
when I used to be outside until around 10-11 at night playing with all my friends
Eversince I've moved back to this ******** dump that was my birthtown Ive slowly felt more violent....and violent..and violent...
(way to go for influencing me this way mom and dad with your poorly made decisions)
My writings been allways dark...but my last short story has been...well
one of my most violent ones yet...
my parents and younger siblings have noticed it considerablly
these impulses are harder to deal with then earlier...
my future looks bleak....I cant really see myself in the future.
That songs title maybe true "dead eyes see no future"
funny how my hatred has allways motivated me to move onwards
depressed or not..now its finally gave me another snag after the longest time
I guess I owe my existance to
-What friends I have left
-the nonsense family and Nemesis heart
-metal ...for hatefilled bastards like myself
-my ex girlfriends ..cursed blessings or not they helped me though hard times without their knowing of it
-god I suppose...but he prolly isnt very pleased with my choices
...I may take a short break from gaia...just long enough to clear my head
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