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After being lied to frequently over long periods of time, I've become pretty thick headed. I don't care to listen to what people have to say a lot of the time. I try to stick to what I know, or I'll do my research about the stuff that I don't know. I tend to ask people for advice about feelings I'm sure I haven't experienced yet, but I always get some dramatic answer. I don't think anything that happens to me is very climactic, but everyone else seems to have these crazy stories to tell about their lives. I'm starting to think that I am just not meant to have a very exciting or eventful life. I mean yeah I've done things that I wanted, like a bucket list sort of thing, but nothing big. I don't want to just work forever. How do people go out and find people to marry and friends to hang out with? I feel like you have to be the obvious hot, smart, and cool to like, have a life, which isn't true. But people still believe that. And if a vast majority of people believe that, they will make it so. From an outcast's point of view, I think that's the dumbest thing you could ever believe. As a kid, I had my fun. Things slowly die down as you get older for everyone at some point though, yes, but I feel like my time for fun was so short Dx I can't really complain, some children are forced to work at a very young age. Not that 19 isn't young to start working, but it was not what I hoped. Nothing is what I hoped lol everything I ever thought or believed is a lie and its all part of my mind and soul and I have to understand that some people don't even have souls! I just can't let every little thing hurt me, it only slows me down. But now its like people look at me as if I'm heartless. Its not that I don't want to talk to you, its that I know better than to tell you anything about my personal life. Its not that I don't want to be your friend, its that I know better than to trust you with any of my thoughts or feelings. I just have to avoid everyone and everything, that's what's starting to make sense. I'm really gong to try it this time.

Sincerely,
Kalasia