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I am a sad god.

I wish I knew what true love feels like.

It's times like now that I believe I get so sad, I truly open my eyes and see all that there is to see.

I do not think I was in love with you. I do not think I am in love with you. I do not think I will ever be in love with you.

I loved the idea of you and I still do. I love a version of you that does not exist in this timeline...or possibly any timeline.

What I believe I love...is just an idea. It's not real.

I have gotten so sad tonight that I see the truth.

Maybe it's the lack of medicine in my system or the lack of you but whatever it is...it's making my heart ache.

I wonder if you ever fell in love with me...or the idea of me, bear.

I feel like there's a million thoughts running through my head right now. I wish I was high or ******** drunk or just goddamn dead.

I seem to focus on the negative a lot. I wish I was a naturally positive person.

I wish I was able to fall out of love with the idea of you...or at least in love with the real you.

God, I wish I could stop thinking.