no one should ever let me stay up this late because i start thinking about how my ex has moved on and i haven't because i never really loved anyone before him and he changed me so much that my life is now 'before him' and 'after him'
and i start thinking about how my best friend is on the other side of the world with the boy she loves and she hasn't talked to me since monday and i don't even think she's noticed my silence
and i start thinking about how i'm contributing my words to a group of which i'm constantly on the outside, and everyone on the inside says they respect me and adore my work, but i'm on the outside and they're on the inside and no one will let me in
and i start thinking about how it's been two years since i started to fall into that pit and i thought i'd climbed back out but really i'm still in it
and i can never, ever leave
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Musings
Just some thoughts.
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