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Fragmented Self who wanders through life like a dreamer and wades through the river of dreams as though it were the only truth left in this world
Walking Past
I haven't been in a roleplay for a year now. One year ago I was running the mafia thread. While I still work on the Zodiac story, there is too much that I want to put into it to have it operational just yet. I would also want to know my school schedule before I entered into the contract of a roleplay. I miss everyone though, I really do.

I don't have many friends in real life. It's a peculiar thing that almost all of my friends fear my wrath. They don't call because they think I'm mad at them or that I would get angry for their intrusion into my life. That's a bit bizarre. I know that I'm a bit unpredictable with my moods and actions, but I can't remember snapping at my friend that many times. It makes me feel like a monster sometimes, like I can't make new friends and I'm lucky to have the ones I have now. Sad.

However, having a boyfriend for so long has really lifted my spirits. Don't roll your eyes. When I was in high school, all I wanted was to be loved as much as I put out to others. I stuck my neck out to cheer people up and remind them that they were desirable and important. I didn't feel like anyone ever gave me back as much as I put in to those friendships. TJ was close, but I feel like she was so busy. That's probably wrong, but it is how I feel. I remember her giving words of encouragement often and participating in gestures that were meaningful to me like lockets and writing with me even though I wasn't on her level. She may have very well been one of the few to really reciprocate... even if it were true, I wouldn't want to acknowledge that now. Too much hurt has happened between us for me to mend her image to that level again.

Anyhow, the boyfriend is great for giving me someone that I can make feel loved and give me loving words in return. He brings me things to try to spoil me and tries to remember my preferences so that he can make me smile. I can tell that he truly takes pleasure in seeing me happy. It's way cute.

My work is s**t. I'm going to look around for a new job. Hopefully I can find something soon and ******** quit.

I'm not home very often, and when I am, I typically sleep. Lulz. Well, that or I watch a show while I eat then I sleep. Haha! I finished watching all of the Justice League. Next up is the Justice League Unlimited, unless I find something better. Ho ho ho. I finally got my mom to watch North & South, which was hilarious because she never stays up past 10 but because she was so hooked, she stayed up past 12 watching the show. There are four episodes 52 minutes long each and the main guy is handsome. At first you don't think he is much but as his personality and actions evolve, oh maaaaaan. He's hot. Yup.

I play a s**t TON of Seabeard on my ipad. I also play Hearthstone and Clash of Clans. The latter is more casual because I play to have something I do with the boyfriend. Hearthstone is also casual I suppose since I play so my brother can talk to me about his gaming and I'll understand. Meh. Seabeard is all mine. I'm pretty far. I unlocked the archeologist and tonight my antique trader house is being built. That means I'll be rebuilding the library next or the fountain on the right ride of the island. The library should upgrade my archeologist. I really want to find the last animals for the photography side quests. I am missing the Treefinch, Beaver, and Firebirdthing. Lol. I forget the name. Supposedly, they are all at the temple. WE SHALL SEE ********. Lol. I get a little intense.





 
 
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