Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

honestly
F*CK ME for wanting to become an independent little f*ck. poops on me
i should've just relied on my parents for everything, like my older sister has this entire time.
I SHOULD HAVE gone to the cheaper college
And I SHOULD HAVE thought about the costs before going to Marquette.
I SHOULD HAVE listened to my parents and ignored Riley's pleas to go to the same college as him. I was a damn fool.

But that's all in the past. Now I'm starting to make my own decisions, taking Riley's opinions into consideration, rather than following through. It isn't his fault I'm in this mess, it's my own. So now I have to make the tough choice in moving out or nah, ha, basically.

I don't have enough money to move out on my own yet, especially since my parents aren't helping me with s**t. WHICH PISSES ME THE F*CK OFF. I don't understand why they can pay for both my sister and my own tuition one semester, and then suddenly, they can't anymore? They can only pay for my sister to get through college? BS. I feel terrible for saying all this stuff about my parents, but seriously, they shouldn't be complaining about the financial situation day in and day out, especially since they keep buying new s**t everyday. Ugh I have a headache. Like, oh, dad, thanks for NOT helping me pay off my loans like you said you would earlier, and make me pay for my own damn gas at the same time, thanks DAD. and thanks MOM for just complaining about my dad for not helping me pay off my loans, and not help me in the end. I'm the only one paying for all of this s**t. and you guys get mad at ME for wanting a little time for myself and my friends? Why can't I go out, while you guys can, and I have to end up paying for gas because you guys went out the entire weekend SHOPPING and used up the entire tank that I PAID FOR.
Life sucks, but I guess I gotta deal with it.
Looking at my own financial status right now, I think I'll just have to move out and use the bus while paying for school. Honestly, I don't care anymore. I'll just bring my arnica with me everywhere I go, and do my homework on the bus. My family is so dysfunctional when it comes to money, really. I hope I don't end up like them.