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"Recalling the Past"

I didn't regret the things what i am expecting to happen ...
If only my sis didn't die on me ; n ;
if only . . .
i could still see her from now
if only my love one didn't give up on me
my only first love and her bigsister . . . which is my sis
if only . . .
i could bring the past
why would they left me ?
why would everyone comes to leave ?
am i that painful to be with ?

but I did My best to care for them
i loved them
i never give up on them
but no matter how many times i try
I still break down and fall
I'm saying my words to them because they are the Only
ones who can do it , not me . . .
this tiny World Slowly affecting my self

do i need to keep searching for some people who are broken ?
do i need to keep myself safe and giving them my word " ok "
well nothing is ok . . .
no matter how i start it, it won't end well
I am a wall for them
but this wall will break soon
and no one is there to help me . . .

time please stop
don't give me another past
your making more history that
could destroy me . . .
nothing will change
nothing will come. . .
it won't end . . .
it just end all the same