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I know why my parents don't give a s**t like I do about my training, it's not their mental health at state. It's mine. It's my burden, but I would love the help to carry it. Wasn't that the point of coming home? I might be asking for too much to hope they would take interest on their own without any prodding or nudging. I don't even think they know why bipolar disorder is or that there are several different kinds. All they know is that my moods flux and I have a hard time "controlling myself."

Whelp. I don't know how much use they are going to be this time around because there is a big full moon coming up and I'm already urging pretty bad. I kept thinking perverse thoughts, well... I have been for a few days now. I get these really bad urges that wouldn't normally be even thought of but now they are right there in my brain, rattling away. I don't know how anyone could help me with that. I eat sometimes to quiet it. I try to warn my family so they can help me with my urges and the way that I cope but they are no real help. Psh. I know ways around them and they don't really care as much as I need them to.

I need to send them to a special school.