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Some things you tend to not understand till later on in life, and early, when you're young, at least mentally, everything seems horrible, everything seems to be like it's the end of the world. But the stupidest things make everything okay; the sunrise, the hope that tomorrow will be better, a song, a picture, a scent, a flower, a hand in yours. I want to leave this message here for myself later on, because I have a horrid habit of thinking bad about myself, of taking things to extremes, to always thinking of the worse scenario. I test to crash down in to the pits of pessimism and depression like a run away freight train. But it's nights like this in which I realize everything really is going to be okay...

And again it's one of those stupid things....

He said my name in his sleep.

Not my real name, but the nickname he gave to me, that I hold so dear to my heart.

And for a little bit, I almost cried. Because I wish he wasn't so far away. I wish I could say in words how much I love him, and there's only one thing I can say. My heart is so swollen right now I feel as if it could burst through my chest.

We make eight months in five days, it's the longest relationship I've ever had. And I'm so incredibly happy that I get to spend it with him.

He is my love, my joy, the reason I smile through the sadness and the pain. He is the light in the darkness, the stars in the sky, the air in my lungs, the reason why I lay awake at night. He's my meum leo. He is my everything.

I used to be the girl who hated love. Who hated relationships because all they brought was pain.

I used to be the girl who curled up in to a ball at night, wishing I had someone there with me.

I used to be the foreveralone girl.

... Now I can never see my life without him in it. All the way through it all, he's there. Dating, Marriage, kids, our kids going to school, our kids growing up.. growing old together.

Who knew in eight months you could feel like this? And he's everything I've been waiting so long for. Patience pays off.... and I never ever want to lose him.