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Deathly pale,
I lie here all night long.
I hear the bell-tower
signalling midnight,
but for me,
this is the end.
I lie here
in the corner
of an empty room.
Tears stain my face,
blood staining my skin.
And yet,
here I stand
in the middle of the room,
looking down at myself.
My body stained with blood and tears.
I look upon it,
horrified.
This is the creature I am inside.
I fear seeing myself.
I had seen it in my eyes,
so many times.
But now, I stand,
looking at the monster
I have become over the years.
How could it be me?
How am I seeing this?
It makes me want to bawl on the floor,
and cry in a corner as well.
It makes me want to rip my own heart out.
It kills me,
seeing what I truly am.
What no one else would ever see.
This is me,
the girl I see.
Her nails worn down
from years off clawing her way out.
Her lips forming a morbid smile,
horrid sharpened teeth exposed,
the smile of a mad man.
Her skin,
pale
as if she had died long ago,
and now returns to devour who I am today.
I despise who I am today,
but I would rather be this,
than the monster I know I am.
The monster that lives within me.
And yet,
I hear her growl,
warning me not to even try.
I know this to be true.
I was never able to escape her before,
and at this moment,
she had become a reality.
A physical form
that could tear me apart in seconds.
I fall,
and here
in the middle of this empty room,
she catches me.
She puts a worn finger to my lips
to hush me,
and holds me.
"It will all be over soon"
She says.
"So shut your eyes,
and go to sleep."
I stare
momentarily,
then does as she bids.
I close my eyes,
and this nightmare,
I re-live.