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The Chronicles of Esan!
I honestly don't know anymore.
All this fighting, all this pain, sometimes, it doesn't even feel worth it.
I feel broken, defeated, my will crumbled.
Maybe it's time I throw in the towel and just give up.
At one point, our love had been sweet. We talked of the future, shared dreams, and held only warm words for each other.
Now it's a battlefield. I can't even list all the things that's wrong.
I try. I try, and try, and try, but nothing works. Nothing. I love her so much, I don't want it to end, but there's nothing else I can do. I've tried everything, but it all ends in failure.
Failure. Failure. Failure.
We don't act like any relationship I know.
This is just one big failure, I've known it since I got back from my five day trip, since something changed in the relationship. But I wanted to believe that I could maybe fix it, but I failed.
I'm sorry, Sarah. I failed. I failed at making you laugh. I failed at cheering you up. I failed at helping you. I failed at giving you advice. I've failed you as a lover, a partner, and a friend. I'm sorry, and, soon, the relationship will be added to my list of failures.
I wish there was something I could do to save it.

-EDIT-

I'm pretty pathetic, I was so resolute on...well, you know, but then last night, I started crying. Well, sobbing is a better word. I just curled up on the floor, cuddling a pillow with my face in it, sobbing and whimpering and pleading, "please, I don't want it to end" over and over into my pillow. That's something a man shouldn't do. How do you break up with someone that you're still in love with?





 
 
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