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ah- there is so much I would want to write about.

I feel stuck in a middle ground so to speak.
It's an odd sensation,
neither sinking nor falling.
Not flying or running,
just being still.
I don't know how to react.

I know what I'll be missing. I already cried about it this afternoon and had been deliberating fiercely with myself for a while. I know, yet I do not regret anything.

I think I've made a change in what I want for the Ringmaster, getting closer to my original design though still not completely the same. After all, the original Ringmaster was my way of sorting out my lingering feelings and thoughts of Ryan. I still have no clue whether he was real or not XDD Wonderbar!

I've got a few things to look forward to: an Anberlin concert, hanging out with my mom (however horrifying that may also be), watching True Blood this weekend, hanging with my brother, finding out wtf is up with my phone :/ and checking Dimple for movies. Movies are a great pick-me-up. I'm saving that for after the mother interrogation. I'm sure it won't be as bad as I make it in my mind, but I always worry. Ah~ and I'll get to see my precious kitty <3 aw, Renj.. I miss him. I'm gonna drape him across my shoulders <3

I'm almost done with Season 1 of Friends. It has taken me a long time. Chandler is so much funnier than I remember... and Monica is so much prettier....

Ah~ I made myself a cd so that I can sleep easier. Haven't been sleeping well for a while. I have ideas of what it could be but, nothing definitive. It has some... bad songs but overall, it's very peaceful. I just downloaded fixed versions of the Beatles, since my old ones were bad quality, and Moby. [/ sigh] Life goes on. This feels like a pathetic attempt to resume the norm... it will be easier as time passes. It will be easier. It will get easier.