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I'm falling in an endless sky-
leaves and half bloomed blossoms speeding past me.
My hair whips in front of me in a long tail.
I can heart my heart beat slowly,
not at all a rush,
not like I expect it to be.
I lean in towards my legs and ball up,
knees pressed firmly against my chest.
I can barely hear it beat-
but I know I'm alive.
I pull my head back and gravity pulls me apart,
tearing my feet out from under me
I'm like a skydiver-
without any end.
I can't imagine an end.
It's hard to see.
The wind is whipping so hard...
All I know is,
I wish you were psychic.
Then I would fall into you instead.

-------------------------------

It's a night of weakness. I feel it in my bones. I had a great day today. Was giggly and work was good. My bosses basically told me they were desperate for me to come back and I was their favorite. She was so sad I am going to be done in two days. I got people to call me back today from my list and it's looking very small candidates now. ^^ That's a very good thing!

But I feel it, wrenching in my gut, tonight is a moment of weakness. It's a night for mistakes and falling too far without a reason. I wish there was a reason. I just do this.... I [/ sigh] attach myself so quickly to people, thus why it's so damn painful for me all the time. Well, I don't want to fight it either. I just, want a reason. I hoped so much that he would be online so that I could have a reason. Instead I feel like a moron for sending him notes of assurance and giving him my number. I feel like a total moron, and not in the usual "head over heels over-thinking" kinda way. It's like a legitimate moron sense.