I trackled her full force, taking us both off the ground with the sheer force of it, and for a moment the two of us seemed to hang suspended in the air, then the world slammed back into place once more and we were crashing down to the Earth like angels falling from heaven.
My leg was throbbing painfull, the skin an awful swollen red, and I’d hurt my elbow in the fall as well, scraping it along the rough ground so that a large strip of skin had been rubbed off, but I couldn’t focus on either of those two things right now, I was too focused on Joe.
She’d scrambled away from me almost as soon as the two of us had hit the ground, and now she was standing by the edge once more, her hands gripping the railing and one foot poised in mid air as her body leaned dangerously forward.
“Jo!” I breathed, trying to get to my feet, but my leg folded underneath me and I was thrown back to the ground.
“Why are you here, Ethan?!” She screamed, tears filling her eyes, “Why couldn’t you just stay away?!”
“Please, Jo, don’t do this!” Tears were begginning to fill my own eyes and from every other time they threatened I didn’t care this time. I only cared about Jo, “You don’t have to do this! I know!”
“You know?” Her face was a disbelieving mask as she said the words slowly as if they were new to her and she was just disovering how to work them out then the mask flickered to one of anger, “You’ve known all this time!”
“No,” I shook my head back and forth while the tears finally made it over the threshold of my lids and trickled down my cheeks, “I didn’t, but I should have. I should have known. I should have seen the signs before now.”
Said signs were staring me right in the face; the tangle of hair falling down her shoulders, unbound by any sort of band, the purple sweatshirt she was wearing even though she’d never wear the color in her life, the trembling of her fingers that were usually so steady because the were strong and firm painter fingers which hadn’t been flecked with pain for days now, the way she moved as if her body was sore, the bruise that wound around her wrist and the other that blemished the other wise creamy perfection that was her leg, and finally the most obvious one, to me at least, was the dim light in her usually so bright and intelligent eyes that were always, always looking for the better during any situation.
Her face softened and I found myself looking into the usual concern and kindness that I had seen from her many times over the past few months as I tried to deal with my mind and body’s new limitations as well as remembering the me of before, “Ethan, you’re crying.”
“I know. I know.” I sniffed, not bothering to wipe away the tears, “but I don’t want you to leave. Please don’t leave.”
“You don’t get it,” She shook her head, tears flinging from her eyes with every shake.
“I do get it!” I cried, “I do!”
“No!” She screamed and was turning around to glare at me, both of her feet settled on the ground as she snarled her outrage as I’d seen her do when she’d defended me from Jared and Tiffany and some of the other kids. Even then her anger had been a frightening thing, but I’d never thought it would be aimed at me and so harshly too, “You don’t get it! You can’t ever get it! You’re not smart enough, Ethan!” She laughed harshly, her eyes glittering meanly, “Not anymore, not since the accident, and you never will be again, so just go home and leave me alone! I’m starting to get annoyed with you following me everywhere like a way too eager puppy!”
Inside there was a part of me that was hurt by her words and yelling and crying out angrily in response, but there was another, bigger part of me that still saw the signs and could even see the now just evident tremble to her lip as she gripped the railing of the birdge so tight that it seeemed she was trying to hold herself back.
“No,” I replied brokenly on the back of the sob while I bowed my head, watching as my tears made small circles on the ground, “I won’t leave you. I don’t care what they say.”
“What’s with you, Ethan! Why won’t you leave me the ******** alone!? Don‘t you get it? I hate you! I‘ve always hated you. You were an a** before your accident and you‘re an a** now, despite the innocent face you present to everybody!” Joe pracitcally yelled and I could hear her voice rebounding through the night, cruelly beating again and again at my ears.
“No,” I said again, shaking my head. My voice was softer, worn down by her harsh words, but I would not retreat. I didn’t care what happened, I didn’t care what she said, and I didn’t care if she really did hate me and would do so fover forever; I would not leave her here to kill herself. “I’m not going to leave you.”
She released a choked noise and I looked up, afraid that she had jumped, but she hadn’t, instead I saw something much worse.
Joe--the girl whom I’d always believed to be as strong and tough as some avenging goddess, the girl that had stood steely against anybody that threatened her or her friends, the girl that had supported and encouraged me through all of my bull crap, and the girl that had been dealing with her father’s abuse for who truly knew how long--was crying.
Before I’d actually believed that the pain of the car accident was the greatest pain that I’d ever experience, but I was wrong because as I stared at the silent tears that streaked her cheeks I felt a pain so much worse then that, I felt my heart brake.
“Jo,” I tried to struggle to my feet again, but once more my leg collapsed beneath me. It wouldn’t hold me, no matter how hard I tried, so I did the only thing I could think of, I began dragging my damaged body over to her.
I wanted to hug her and tell her that everything was going to be alright like she had done for me. I wanted to dry her tears and show her that haven didn’t have to come in the form of death.
“He was all I had! He may have been a damn crappy dad, but he was all I had.” She sobbed brokenly as she turned back to the dark waters rushing far below the bridge, “And now they’re going to take him away and I’ll have no one left. I’ll be alone like I was before. I-I can’t handle that. I can’t.”
Her foot hanging over the edge of the bridge, she let go of the railing with one hand and her body tottered forward dangerously. She would have fallen if I hadn’t, somehow, managed to give my body that one last heave that I needed and snatched her other hand before she could unclasp it from the railing, jerking her fall to a halt.
“Ethan?” She looked back at me, tears still running down her face.
Both of my hands were clasping her arm so tightly that I knew there was going to be bruises and from where I had my legs braced against the railing to make sure we both weren’t dragged away, my damaged leg screamed at me to stop, the scar along the side feeling like it was on fire, but I was too afraid to let go, too afraid that I would loose her if I did. “You’re not alone, you idiot! You have me!”
“Until they take me away again,” She answered hopelessly and I felt her tug at my hands, trying to pry my fingers off her arm, but I just dug my fingers in further. “I’m not eighteen yet, Ethan.”
“But I am!” I shouted the words at her, glaring at her through the tears that continuiously streaked my cheeks, “If they take you away, then I’m coming with you!”
For a moment the two of us simply stared at one another, me with hopeless anger and Joe with desperate hope. “You really…You really mean that?”
I nodded, “I’m not going to leave you, Jo.”
The way she was staring at me made a frightened feeling settle in my stomach, and I was afraid that she would still try to jump off the bridge, but then she was jumping on me, her arms curling around my neck as she sobbed brokenly into my shoulder. “I don’t want to be alone anymore, Ethan, promise me you will stay with me.”
“I promise,” I whispered into the side of her neck, and it was true. I would always stay with her, I don’t think I could leave her if I tried.
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