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Stricken with grief Caged in a locked room Heart aching for relief No one to embrace me By myself with my tears Broken inside with false glee A gun lies at my feet Just me and it Today I wonder if death I will finally meet Why am I locked in this room? Walls painted black with gloom There are no windows, only the ones I drew My words formed as darts and flew Breaking hearts and wounding emotions Was it my fault that I created my negations? Fathom wings flying to a fantasized eastern sky I was provoked to anger which placed a knot in my tie This abuse isn’t a guilt trip I haven’t learned anything, only guts to rip But this is no way to deal with negligence The door is locked, I hear footsteps, they trigger my suspense refuse to portray any kind of weakness Even when the door opens and reveals darkness A putrid essence of hate arises As the hands feeling me on every side Cornered yet again This is not love or any type of friend The gun is in my hand If I kill the fiend or invite suicide, will god understand? My name is then called but it’s not in the room, it’s far away And as I fall the black walls begin to fade and visions sway My eyes slowly open and reality is staring at me with silence Another nightmare and a new day of being alive, I sometimes don’t understand my existence -