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No, silly. I'm right here.

So, how have I been lately? To be honest, I haven't been doing so well lately. It's weird because I'm always depressed around this time of the year, then I'm crazy happy well...probably in the upcoming months. I hope that's true this year, as well. I'm really tired of everything and everyone.

My grades, no problem maaaaaan. I'm definitely not failing math anymore, lol. I think it's crazy that I want an A in that class, but it's definitely doable. The rest of my grades are kinda shaky, when I mean shaky I mean that they're like..low As or high Bs. It just makes me nervous, for some reason. I remember last semester I had an A in English and it turned out to be a B+ on my report card! D: haha. It's okay, though. I got over it pretty quickly. I remember my grades in middle school were..umm..a C, a couple Bs, and As. And I didn't really care what I got, honestly. xD

By the way, no matter how much I HATED Totem, I do kind of miss it sometimes. It seemed like everyone changed for the worse when they got to high school. I appreciate the freedom I have at TJ, but there are just some things I miss about Totem. Probably the most surprising one to some of you would probably being in Wind Ensemble (aka, band). hahaha. I absolutely loved band! We played amazing music and went on fun field trips. (I rocked on the clarinet too.. LOL.) The only reason that I didn't join band in TJ was that I only could pick two electives, and I needed a world language and I needed to stay in AVID. Dx

Umm..what else do I miss? I miss being really annoying, especially to people that didn't like me, and I'm sure they existed. LOL. I miss having texting in school being scary as fuuuuuck. (not really..actually.. xD) I miss preforming at assemblies because everyone knew we rocked them. >:3 I miss my history teacher because he was crazy funny and taught at the same time. I especially miss the epic field trips we went on as eighth graders. Like the boat trip for 8th graders. I just remember looking out to ocean, staring at the pretty blue water, while singing along to some of the songs they were playing, while my friends surrounded me. xD

I missed being blind to some of the bad things about the world when I thought I knew everything. It was pretty nice being ignorant, for a while. Probably why they say ignorance is bliss. I definitely don't miss feeling the things I went through, ESPECIALLY IN SEVENTH GRADE! I have journal posts showing how depressed I was. Aiyaaaaaaaaaaa. I don't even remember why. All I can remember was that there was self-harm and suicide thoughts involved. :c But yeah. Enough about that.

I just needed to type this..because I'm tired of ranting over and over and getting no where. I kinda vented a bit.. it's okay though. x.x At least I didn't completely complain complain complain.

I don't have to go to school until about 9:50, so I'm probably just gonna stay up tonight doing whatever. G'night everyone! (:

~Vanessa