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Fragmented Self who wanders through life like a dreamer and wades through the river of dreams as though it were the only truth left in this world
My Silent Tomb
T.T I got scolded this morning by my housemate because I was "inconsiderate" last night by "making a lot of noise" and "waking her up." The only problem there was that I only hummed for like five minutes at a very low volume and cooked a grilled cheese, which really should not have made that much noise... T.T After that I brought my computer out and sat down with my computer to try to type but there was a chick in our living room that I didn't know would be there. Around 2 am our neighbors started fighting, so loudly that I could hear everything. Apparently she wanted to kick an abusive guy out who had been to jail BUT I didn't make any noise. I didn't even turn on the Tv or giggle to myself. I just sat there and typed as best I could. I didn't even use the mouse cause I was scared it would make too much noise! T.T

So... I'm all depressed about it cause I try my very best to be quiet here but it's never enough for them. And I don't understand why they need me to be quiet so desperately... do they need to pretend that I don't exist? Is that what they need? Cause I can do that! I can disappear so that I don't say anything and don't come out unless I need to sneak something to eat. Really! I can! I feel guilty now for eating something yesterday... even though I DIDN"T EAT ANYTHING ALL DAY T.T I feel like I should find somewhere else to live T.T This isn't fair... T.T I should not be ashamed that I needed to eat something at 1 in the morning cause I didn't eat all day and finally got home at that time T.T I shouldn't T.T

I'm such a mess right now... T.T I have posts to do and I had such an amazing time yesterday with my Gaia friends, just chatting and posting. For once I talked to them about life and stuff and it was SO FUN... T.T It was really goood <3 I came home so happy and now... T.T I just keep crying..

b***h.


T.T I should be happy they will be gone this weekend but it only makes me more sad cause it means that I have one day and a half without them... THAT'S IT T.T I miss the days where she was NEVER home and she would always be gone at work or school or studying. Things were so much easier back then. I only get 3 hours before my roommate is home after my classes and my housemate is home 3-4 hours after that. T.T The youngest housemate is like never home and she's the only one that goes out of her way to be nice to me. T.T She always has friends over too! When she doesn't, she hangs out with the other two who really get along with her... I dunno, maybe I don't know how to make friends.

Ugh, this all sounds so emo. ********. T.T I'm not emo just sad... T.T That b***h. I seriously cannot remember doing anything that would prompt such a reaction. T.T I mean, I just sat there T__T

I really need some friends here...





 
 
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