Jamais Changeant
Dearest Lamont,
So many years, my love. Oh so many years. Nearly fifty! How ironic that you say something in me changed you. I don't know where I'd be, my love, if you hadn't come looking for me. When I left you in such a flurry thinkin' I had ruined those hours before when we had been lost in conversation. I still don't know what about you made me hesitate. What in you changed my hardened, killer's heart? Do you know, my love?
But I changed you as well. You thought all pirates were mindless brutes. Yet, when I protected that girl from you...after tricking you into thinking I was a civilized lady; well, your opinion sure changed. I chuckle to myself as I think how you yourself became a pirate so that you might find me. You joined a ship and tried to convince the captain to follow my ship. He almost slit your neck, but that darned falcon of yours, he helped protect you. Better than a mangy parrot any day, you say.
You grew through the ranks so quickly it would make anybody's head spin. Kept your rich status hidden so that you started on equal standin'; even more impressive! And then, you took over and found me! Bet you weren't expectin' to find me half-starved, half-naked, dying on an island; were you?
The men on your crew...who knows what they'd have done to me if you hadn't rushed to my side, swooped me up and carried me safely back to your chambers on the ship. I was delusional, you tell me, but I remember through my hazy state that you stayed at my side through the night, through the days, until I got better.
I was the first woman on an all male crew thanks to you! Tried to be just as stubborn as ever though, I did. Told you I didn't need your pity. Started out on the bottom, toleratin' the catcalls and wayward hands, just so that I could truly earn your respect. I laugh now to think that I already had it. But you smiled and laughed at me the whole time. Oh how irritated I thought I was with that smirk! But I could no sooner live without it now than live without air.
And we sat and talked for hours again. I told you all about the truth of who I was, what I'd done. I knew it might cost me your love, but I had to show you everythin' there was to me. And you just smiled, took my hands, and forgave me for my sins. I still remember breakin' down and cryin' in your arms. Here I'd thought I'd enjoyed that life of murder but you helped me again. Helped me to realize that I was only masking my pain of losing my father, so young, in such a cruel way.
And I told you all about Fiona. You remembered her too and I could tell you felt for her what I had. I mentioned that she might have a brother and you re-routed the whole ship to try to find him. Aran says hello by the way. He came over and had tea with me today. We had a good laugh recounting how you and I had attacked his naval ship all those years ago.
No blood was spilled, you always made sure to keep the death toll either minimal or at zero. I've never seen a man earn such respect by not killin' a single soul. Your clean hands blew me away. But, we did make sure that Aran was mysteriously pulled from the ship and never heard from again. He fought us like hell 'til I showed him his sister's tartan. One of the items that I'd received from Captain Ainoa when we stopped back at Tortuga together and found her. I still wonder now what became of her and her plight.
But I ought to get to my point my dear. No sense wastin' your time with my ramblings of the past. When will you come home to me again my love? I know you promised the old crew one last tour about for treasure, but you must know that you are my greatest treasure. I wish I had been able to come with you. But I couldn't miss our daughter giving birth to yet another handsome baby boy. A late in life child, but he came out so healthy and strong. Fiona misses you too my dear, and her boys eagerly await their grandfather's return.
All my love,
Jamais
[~Swift~]
*Just a Side Note. My Avatars Reflect Marianna and Achilles as they are when they have just reunited.
"A new life...again."
It had been years since she'd sailed the seas with her Captain, but the scars never seemed to fade. The money had eased the transition but the trauma, the pains, they were impossible to forget. Trapped. On that island for nearly 3 months. Eventually she had enough sense to build a raft. It had been nearly a day to shore. The Sandbar she'd landed on practically linked itself to Crete however the Mediterranean currents made the short trip incredibly difficult. From there she had found her way to Italy. In just a few weeks she was home, well not exactly. Spain wasn't home anymore father had died while she was away and he was the only thing in Spain she loved; she no longer wanted to call the ocean home, the only other man she'd truly loved had been lost there too. She was stuck in an in between, until she had found Captain. It seemed Captain had lost a bet with a sea spirit. She owed them a debt and they had come to collect. Sadly Captain had payed with the life of her crew. And Achilles...
Captain awarded Marianna's survival with gold. More gold than one could think possible. With the money she was stable but not happy, never happy. No home no lover, it was the same as the island. Marianna needed a new life, an adventure; time would frighten force her to forget the pain.
She set sail to the Americas. She settled on the east shores and opened a port. She was known as the Gem of Boston. Rare foreign beauty and no one could ever seem to capture her eye. Her eyes bright with intelligence fell dull whenever her eyes fell on a man. She never settled down. She simply watched the seas. No one really knew what she was waiting for until he arrived. No one understood. Maybe they had been lovers at a time, maybe they had both been beautiful together, but his beauty had been lost. His face was mangled from numerous scars. It didn't seem to matter. Her happiness was abundant there was no doubt of that. They watched over the port until old age finally claimed them. Marianna died one morning in early August, Achilles died shortly after the Funeral. As soon as he had said goodbye, he went to join her. After being separated for so many years it seems had become inseparable. Their love that transcended the oceans had now transcended death. The End.
Black_Daisys
I walked down the street arm-in-arm with my little girl, smiling politely at the old ladies who gawked at me as we passed. Ever since we had moved to this part of town they had always looked at us in that way – like we were a walking scandal – but I tried not to let it bother me, and my precious child seemed not to care at all. She had her father’s tenacity; that was certain.
She looked back as the old ladies passed us and stuck her tongue out at them. I chuckled and said, “Now, now my dear at least wait till they’re around the block. Be polite.”
She looked up at me, her eyes wide, and said, “But mama! they were saying how detestable your dresses were! I heard them. The one with the wart said we were ‘almost as bad as scarlet women.’ Can you believe that?”
I smiled. My little girl. Always sticking up for me whether it was right or not. “Well darling, my dresses are a little too . . . modern for some women.”
“Mama’s dresses are the best! They make me feel like a real lady!” She twirled to show off her favorite yellow and white dress as we stepped into the gate of our estate.
I laughed, petting her head as I said, “You are a real lady now. You turned thirteen just last month, remember?”
That made her smile even wider. She loved the thought that she was old enough to go to parties with her Papa and I now. She said she would get to wear even fancier dresses that I made. She took off her coat as we stepped into the foyer and said, “Though, it is a little odd having people think my mother is my older sister. Maybe if your dresses weren’t quite so modern Mama . . .”
I closed my eyes and replied “I had to carry you in my stomach for nine long months. If I want to feel young when we go for walks I think I have that right.” before winking at her.
She giggled and there was silence between us as we both sat down in the parlor and began munching on the goodies one of the maids had left out. It was our Wednesday routine to do this: go for a walk around the neighborhood, have a laugh at all the uptight women, then come home and eat something sweet as we decided what we should do that weekend. Sometimes it was the opera. Sometimes it was travel to shop. It was odd, but we were almost best friends. But that was the way we liked it –and I honestly did hate seeming like an old made next to my vivacious little girl.
It was my daughter who broke the silence when she asked, “Mama, is Papa really coming home today?”
I smiled softly and replied, “Yes, he is. And he’ll stay with us a whole month this time.”
She crossed her arms and sat back in her seat, pouting, “Why did Mama have to marry a merchant? I never get to see Papa . . .”
I crossed the room and put my arms around her, “Think of it this way, without him your mother dress shop would have never gotten off the ground. He was the one who found me and said my gowns were beautiful. And she wouldn’t have been able to keep you. He bought this lovely house and he only leaves us so that we can keep this lifestyle. Even though we miss him, he will always come back to us.”
She looked up at me sternly and said, “But I miss him.”
“I do too, dear.”
She glanced away and then back at me and asked, “And you love him too, don’t you?”
I looked out the window and replied, “I do. I love him very much.”
She grabbed my hand and said, “Mama . . .tell me how you met my father again.”
I sighed, and smiled gently “Arianne, I’ve told you a hundred this month”
“Then make it a hundred and one!” her eyes were shining as she looked up at me.
I settled onto the couch with her and said, “Well, about fourteen years ago I left the place I had grown up in for the sea. There was a pirate captain who was looking for a new crew and for some reason thought I might be a good addition . . .” I went on and on, detailing my adventures at sea with Arianne and captain Ainoa. The more I went on the more her eyes lit up.
“Then we set into Tortuga for a bit of a rest. I wasn’t really looking forward to it, until I saw someone I recognized. . .”
“Luc,” she whispered breathlessly, her smile a mile wide.
“Your father,” I grinned, “But it couldn’t last. The very next day my ship left and that night a great monster attacked us and tore the ship apart. I was adrift for days and days before I finally found myself on a small island. By then I had given up hope of rescue, or living, but just a week later a ship pulled onto the shore and found me lying in the sand. They always stopped there and … hid their loot in a cave nearby. For some reason they took pity on me and let me live. They blind-folded me and put me below the ship so that I wouldn’t be able to fin my way back to their island and we set sail for Tortuga . . .”
“And that’s where you met captain Ainoa again! And she gave you a sack full of gold and that’s how you started the dress shop!” she interjected.
I tapped her nose and said, “Exactly. I was at the docks looking for someone who would let me buy passage back to Marseille when fate sent your father to me again. He ran up to me and embraced me and took me back to his ship. His captain allowed me to stay on and would take me to Marseille with them. I spent two wonderful weeks with your father then but as we pulled into port I knew something was wrong. All week I had been begging him to stay with me – to leave his life at sea, and make a family together. But he couldn’t do it. The sea had taken hold of him and he was afraid that if he went back to Marseille he would die, like he almost did before. It was the hardest thing either of us had to do, leaving each other. . . but I know now that if he had stayed with me he would have just wasted away.”
Again there was silence as both of us thought about this (my heart still sank a little each time I said it), the Arianne said, “Do you think I’ll ever get to meet him, Mama?”
I smiled and stroked her cheek, “I have no doubt you will. Someday soon he will come to Paris and you will meet him. And you can tell him about all your great adventures here!”
“I think I would rather go to sea and meet him there . . .”
I hopped off the couch and said, “Arianne, believe me when I say this, you will be much happier here with me and you Papa! Now, he’s coming home soon and we must prepare the house for him. What shall we have for dinner tonight?” I held my hand out for her
She smiled and took it, pulling herself up quickly, “Ummm . . . roast?”
“That sounds like an excellent choice. Your Papa’s favorite!” With that I began to walk to the kitchen. Arianne followed slowly, though I knew she was staring at the window and wondering if her real father cared for her at all and if she would ever see him. One day she would understand. One day she would know how difficult it was for him. One day I would let her read all the letter he had written me over the years asking how she was, what she looked like, how tall she was getting, if she was popular with the boys . . . Letters I had never been able to reply to. She would know how her Papa had saved me from going bankrupt and taken her and me in even though he knew how society would look down on him. How Luc had come to see he when she was only two and how he knew then he couldn’t stay – that he couldn’t take all that Pierre had given us away.
One day she would know these things. But until then I would protect her as best I could and love her as much as I was able. She was my most precious treasure now - my only reminder of all I had lost, and how much more I had gained – and that was truly the greatest gift of all.
