Well... that didn't work gonk
I added a journal entry, but Zep told me that she wanted to be on the top of the list, so I deleted it again. But even when I deleted the entry, my name was still above hers on the list.
And it made my journal go all whacko, so now I'm adding an entry (to be edited later xD) so that my journal's not quite so confused.
SORRY ZEP!!! sweatdrop
Ok, I'm back and it's time for my proper entry cool
First, I'd like to mention that I'm just so... out of it this week. I don't even know why, though. Well.. I do, but it's not a very good reason. I'm not really all that tired either, despite having to wake up at 6:15 every morning.
Anyway... that's not what I want you to read about! xd
... neither's the next bit, so it's going in small font ^^
Do you remember when I told you that I had an awesome class for this year? Probably not, but about two days before we went back to school, that was what I thought. Isn't it funny how the years that seem the best often turn out to be the worst, and vice versa? X.x
I'm not complaining, really. Just... not too happy with my class. And it's not really the traditional problem of 'so many friends, who do I want to sit near?' it's more... I don't actually -have- anyone to sit by. All my friends have like.. best friends, and I'm not really included anymore....
So I just sit with Cat. That's not really a bad thing in itself, but really... every class? gonk
Now... I'm going to pretend that you really truly care about my problem, and you've been paying attention to my other journal entries. So now you're thinking... 'But if Katri and Zep are really good friends, why not sit with them?'
You see... slight problem there. This problem is the size of the desks. Now.. the desks aren't huge, but they're big enough that if you're sitting in the middle of two people, you can't possibly talk to one of them without excluding the other unless you move your chair back quite a long way. That's what my problem is.
Katri and Zep are bestest best friends, and they always sit together in class. This means that you either have to sit around them, or ignore them completely and go and sit somewhere else completely. If you sit around them, you end up getting ignored anyway, because Katri (or Zep, if you're sitting next to Zep) will turn around to face Zep to say something, and then you'll just get excluded some more.
If we were to sit on a corner (because most of the classrooms have the desks laid out so that there's corners in the desks) it would be ok, and we would be able to fit everyone, but nooo, Katri has to sit in her favourite spot, and everyone else has to work around that. neutral
And.. I hate to say it, but it's not FAIR! I know I'm being greedy, and want everything in my life to be perfect, but to show up day after day only to realise that you're not wanted does start to make you feel a bit down after a while.
I'm beginning to think that the only places I'm actually wanted are in my language classes, but really, that's only because I only have Katri in them, so she has no one else to sit next to.
And, I'm sorry if I'm being melodramatic and overreacting, but it's been bothering me for a while now, and I really don't know what to do about it. And.. I'm sorry if I offended you in any way, Zep (yes, only Zep, beacuse I know that Katri'll never read this anyway) but I just had to write it. What's the use of having a journal if you can't write about the things you feel aren't going so well in your life?
But... on a happier note, I changed my hair!! ^^
Isn't it cool? xD
The only problem being that all my avas are based around the assumption that there's lots of yellow on my head. ..... hmmm sweatdrop
Well.. I'll probably go back to my old hair in a while, but I just wanted a change. It was really a spur of the moment kind of thing, but it's back to the same principle that basically rules my whole life. The fact that I just want people to notice me.
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This is my one little space in the world that I can stop worrying about the fact that no one wants to hear what I have to say, and just say it. Don't like it? Then go away!
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駅前で誰か歌あってる
それは君の好きな歌。
Also, I'd like to apologise for my username. It was cool when I was 11.
それは君の好きな歌。
Also, I'd like to apologise for my username. It was cool when I was 11.
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Katri
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