Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

A couple weeks back one of my good friends asked be if I wanted to go walk the dog with him, and me having nothing else to do, replied, "Alright, I'll get dressed and come walk the dog." He says, "Great I'll be over in about 5 minutes."

Five minutes later he knocks on the door. And we go out, the conversation between us is discussing my slight misunderstandings of the male mind. One in particular my boyfriend. My boyfriend and I have hit a bit of a plateau and he doesn't really seem to care about me anymore.Then, my good friend lets his dog off the leash, and she runs off. So we're now alone...It was in these 5 minutes I realized I should not be there. but I stayed anyway. So then he asks me, "What would you do if I kissed you." Very unsure and slightly scared I replied, "I dont know...?" Then he said, "Kiss now or later." I was quiet for a second, and then I said the worst thing I could possibly have said. What I should have said was, never, but NOPE! I said this, "Does it matter?" Then he proceeded to hold me close, and kiss me. And to sum up the rest, I told him I couldn't do anything with him, ever again. And he respected my choice...for once. He also told me that he wouldn't mention this to anyone. But he did...he mentioned it to his good friend.


---------------------------------------PROBLEM TIME---------------------------------------------------------

So my boyfriend comes up to me during lunch hour, and asks, "Can we talk." and in return I say, "Ok." And he proceeds to walk away, so I follow. When he's at his preferred location not far from where we hang out he asks, "Have you ever lied to me."
Kinda stunned and a bit scared I take a moment; then I reply, "No, I have not, not recently. Why?"
Then the conversation goes like this.

Him: Because you've been acting odd lately.
(I have been really depressed lately)
Me: So..?

Him: When was the last time you were under an influence..?

Me: I don't remember..?

Him: Ok...What do you know that I don't.

Me: I know a lot of things you don't.

Him: I mean important things,
(he was kinda smiling at this point.)

Me: What's important to me may not be important to you.

Him: Ok something more important than the taste of a Banana peel.

Me: *laughs*

Him: It's bitter btw. And I still want to know...if you've done anything.

Me: *silent*
(I should have said no....I SHOULD h ave said no right away...But me being completely honest a lot of the time said something different...)
Me: ...I'm sorry.

Him: *silent*

Me: *silent*

Him: What did you do...

(At this point I just needed to hug him...But he shoved me off of him pretty quick.)

Me: I can't....say...

Him: WHAT did you do...

Me: *silent* .................I'm sorry...

Him: *walks away.*

So then I stood there for about 30 seconds...trying not to break down. But eventually I just walked away...And went down to my locker...then the bell rang...and I went back up the stairs from my locker to where I hang out at lunch. And saw his binder. So I stood and waited for him. It didn't take long, but he didn't even look at me, he just took his book went saying, "I'd rather NOT talk to you right now..."

Defeated, I went to my French class...and texted my good friend explaining what had happened. After class was over I went down to my locker to get my art binder.
He met me down by my locker, and asked me if I was ok. I said, "No....can I have a hug." Then he said, "Isn't that what I came down here for?" Then he gave me a big Teddybear hug. <33 (literally big, he's in grade 11 and 6.2" or 6.4" wink The hug lasted for an abnormally long time, and when we let finally let go. I looked behind him, and saw my boyfriend standing there, watching us. When we made eye contact he just turned and started speed walking away. I dashed off after him, not knowing what I was going to say to him. then I realized it was pointless, and he just needed to cool off a bit.

Thus, insanely depressed. I walked back down the stairs to my locker where Evan was told him that I was going to skip. And left.