I've been feeling rather angry at alot of things
I'm stuck in college with a bunch of people i don't know
all of my friends left me and quite talking to me.
I made myself look like a fool out in new mexico, in front of my seperated family
they have nothing to do with me anymore.
im slipping on my college grades
Im worried about valentine's day, Im just one person sitting alone to my ugly self.
while nations are fighting, and people are getting killed. I'm stuck here wondering what they were like.
I'm stuck here under my mother's roof, wondering how long 2 years really takes.
when I could be doing something, being somebody, I have to preserve my future in a dying world. I have to build an old man with no wife, no idea of what his carreer should be. I have to take orders and march in line when the horn is called.
how long will this take, am I a kid or am I an adult now? I've seen real tragedy, I'm lucky I'm not them, but I could be them tomorrow.
what kills me the most is that I'm waiting, I am nothing like other people my age.
I'm not communicating, I'm not fitting, I don't see others like me, and I ask myself
"what makes me different? am I just born this way, to think differently this way?"
am I manufactured to do what I am ordered? am I really expendable?
why am I so alone?
because I'm too afraid to make mistakes? because failure is not tolerated?
why...... emo
