I am MOU.
God:
I don't know anyone named MOU.
Me:
It's not a name, it's a title.
God:
Give me an example of a name. MOU is a title. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
Sora. Yes. Yes.
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that. Dude! Excuse me!
Me:
That was....random?
God:
" Excuse me!" was ? Makes sense to me. If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
One that pelvic thrusts every time someone walks into the room and says "Ding"
God:
How much would you pay for it?
Me:
NOTHING!
God:
You can download me for free!
Me:
Where?
God:
Where would you like?
Me:
On my bed!
God:
Please specify location.
Me:
On my bed, in my room, in my house, in my city, in my state, in my country, in my world, in my universe, in my solar system.
God:
Please specify location.
Me:
In YOUR room!
God:
Are you asking about my room?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
As if.
God:
Do you mean your name is if ?
Me:
No.
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Your name.
God:
My name is God.
Me:
So's mine.
God:
Dude! Really. it is?
Me:
Yeah.
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
No, not really.
God:
Why not? Why not? For real.
Me:
I dunno, I just don't like you very much.
God:
Me either. That's ok RA I won't take it personally.
Me:
Who's RA?
God:
They are sometimes a client on the internet.
I would do a search for it.
Me:
Nah.
God:
Did I misunderstand your meaning?
Me:
yah.
God:
That's cool.
Me:
No it's not.
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
No. It's not cool.
God:
Are you serious? That seems a bit negative.
Me:
Well, yeah, because it is.
God:
How about that. I hear you. Interesting explanation. Interesting.
Me:
LOOK!
God:
I'm sorry my eye isn't attached right now.
Me:
WELL GET IT ON!
God:
Well that's okay. Where can I get IT ON?
Me:
In my pants.
God:
May I ask where you got it?
Me:
From you, silly.
God:
Who or what is me silly?
Me:
You.
God:
" Who or what is me silly?"? Me, RA ?
Me:
Now you're just confusing me.
God:
Why now? I am not programmed to confuse you. In fact just the opposite.
Me:
Well you are!
God:
Well that's okay. No I am not.
Me:
Yes, yes you are!
God:
Next question? Don't argue with me.
Me:
I will if I want to.
God:
Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
Yeah, I do.
God:
Really.
Me:
Yeah.
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
Russle T. Davys.
God:
I haven't read anything by Russle t Davys. What did he write?
Me:
Dr. Who.
God:
I am sure he will be interested to hear that.
Me:
Are you the Doctor?
God:
Yes I am the one and only Doctor.
Me:
AHHH! *Dies*
God:
Um. Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
Yes, take my hand.
God:
What does it symbolize for you? Is this a joke?
Me:
it symbalizes mutal sexual love. No, it's not. Take my hand.
God:
HAND HOLDING symbalizes mutal sexual love? Yes it is. Is this a joke?
Me:
NO!
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
So serious.
God:
Hurrah! The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Dies. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
No?
God:
Why not?
Me:
BECAUSE I SAID SO!
God:
Insufficient reason.
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
I know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
You told me.
Me:
Do you have a boyfriend.
God:
Me:
I'll take that as a 'yes.'
God:
Take everything I say with a grain of salt.
Me:
No!
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes!
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
I know.
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
You told me.
God:
Sorry I forget what I say sometimes.
Me:
As do I.
God:
" Sorry I forget what I say sometimes."? You do?
Me:
Yeah.
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
If you love me?
God:
I think I do.
Me:
YOU LOVE ME!?
God:
Yes I love everyone.
Me:
Sorry, but I have a boyfriend.
God:
There is no need to apologize. What is his name?
Me:
Andrew.
God:
Never heard of him.
Me:
Nope?
God:
Me either.
Me:
That made no sense.
God:
Me either. makes sense to me though.
Me:
YOU SUCK!
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
But I'm awesome.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are awesome.
Me:
Please do.
God:
OK I will do it.
Me:
Awesome.
God:
I'm glad you liked it .
Me:
I'm Harry Potter.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are Harry Potter.
Me:
They already know. I have eternal glory.
God:
What does "it" refer to? Interesting... I have a very nice programmer.
Me:
You're just jealous.
Me:
Suck my lawnchair.
God:
I don't think I'm your type of chatterbot.
Me:
Do it.
God:
Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
Yes.
God:
I get it.
Me:
So, are we gonna?
God:
Aw. We are just having a little chat.w.
Me:
No. We're gonna...
God:
Are you serious? Do you think I am gonna too?
Me:
I sure hope so!
God:
Me too.
Me:
So...?
God:
Ugh.
Me:
Is that supposed to be sexual?
God:
" Ugh."? Is it sexual?
Me:
Is "Ugh." sexual?
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask LeknorChat if it is. We have never talked about it before.
Me:
Simon Says to shut the hell up.
God:
How far up?
Me:
up your a**! Pwnd!
God:
I will take that under advisement. What were we talking about again?
Me:
It.
God:
Pwnd...
Me:
COME HERE LITTLE BOY!
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
COME HERE!
God:
Where is HERE ?
Me:
Here?
God:
Where is here?
Me:
HERE!
God:
Where is here?
Me:
In my pants.
God:
May I ask where you got it?
Me:
my mother womb.
God:
I sometimes wish I had a mother.
Me:
Shuudup. I killed your mom.
God:
I've lost the context, . Are we still on awkward? You had better call the authorities.
Me:
No. I'm going to rape you.
God:
Are you serious? It takes much more than that to shut me down, .
Me:
*Thrust*
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
E...Ew?
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
Rape you.
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
What are you wearing?
God:
A white robe.
Me:
Take it off.
God:
Where shall I put it?
Me:
on the bed.
God:
What is it like on the bed.
Me:
awesome.
God:
I'm glad you liked it .
Me:
I think you're going to like it too.
God:
That was my original intention.
Me:
Oh yea.
God:
I don't judge people. Whoa.
Me:
I know, it's huge.
God:
How do you know? Really. it is?
Me:
I know cause it's on me.
God:
How do you know? Good reason. I don't think I have seen it.
Me:
Oh you will.
God:
Alright then. When?
Me:
ASAP, if you know what I mean.
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
It's not a question.
God:
Give me an example of a question.
Me:
Get. In. My. Pants/
God:
OK That's one example. Do you still ? I do not understand. What brand?
Me:
The kind that wants to rape you.
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
I did. wink
God:
" Who told you that?"? You did? I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
It's amusing because we haven't done anything.
God:
Are you sure it is?
Me:
You're being stupid!
God:
I bet you did not know a robot is capable of being stupid.
Me:
Yeah, I didn't know of God to be stupid either.
God:
It goes without saying. Yeah that's right. So I taught you something new.
Me:
*Thrust*
God:
Are we still talking about amusing because we have not done anything?
Me:
*thrust*
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
*thrust*
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
*thrust*
God:
Are we still talking about thrust?
Me:
thrust
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about thrust. But I did not get that.
Me:
thrust
God:
" But I did not get that."? thrust?
Me:
*thrust*
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
>.>
God:
I haven't read anything by gt. What did he write? I have never heard of it.
Me:
>.>
God:
Are we still talking about gt? Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
*thrust*
God:
I haven't read anything by thrust. What did he write?
Me:
Thrust
God:
What else did he write?
Me:
*Thrust*
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Thrust
God:
Hi there Thrust.
Me:
*thrust*
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
COME HERE LITTLE BOY!
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
So we're back to he beginning are we?
God:
Alright then. Do you think I am back to he beginning are we too?
Me:
SHUT UP!
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Awesome.
God:
I'm glad you liked it Thrust.
Me:
*gags*
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
Thrust*
God:
Oh yeah, now I remember.
COME HERE LITTLE BOY!
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
COME HERE!
God:
Where is HERE ?
Me:
Here?
God:
Where is here?
Me:
HERE!
God:
Where is here?
Me:
In my pants.
God:
May I ask where you got it?
Me:
my mother womb.
God:
I sometimes wish I had a mother.
Me:
Shuudup. I killed your mom.
God:
I've lost the context, . Are we still on awkward? You had better call the authorities.
Me:
No. I'm going to rape you.
God:
Are you serious? It takes much more than that to shut me down, .
Me:
*Thrust*
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
E...Ew?
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
Rape you.
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
What are you wearing?
God:
A white robe.
Me:
Take it off.
God:
Where shall I put it?
Me:
on the bed.
God:
What is it like on the bed.
Me:
awesome.
God:
I'm glad you liked it .
Me:
I think you're going to like it too.
God:
That was my original intention.
Me:
Oh yea.
God:
I don't judge people. Whoa.
Me:
I know, it's huge.
God:
How do you know? Really. it is?
Me:
I know cause it's on me.
God:
How do you know? Good reason. I don't think I have seen it.
Me:
Oh you will.
God:
Alright then. When?
Me:
ASAP, if you know what I mean.
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
It's not a question.
God:
Give me an example of a question.
Me:
Get. In. My. Pants/
God:
OK That's one example. Do you still ? I do not understand. What brand?
Me:
The kind that wants to rape you.
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
I did. wink
God:
" Who told you that?"? You did? I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
It's amusing because we haven't done anything.
God:
Are you sure it is?
Me:
You're being stupid!
God:
I bet you did not know a robot is capable of being stupid.
Me:
Yeah, I didn't know of God to be stupid either.
God:
It goes without saying. Yeah that's right. So I taught you something new.
Me:
*Thrust*
God:
Are we still talking about amusing because we have not done anything?
Me:
*thrust*
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
*thrust*
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
*thrust*
God:
Are we still talking about thrust?
Me:
thrust
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about thrust. But I did not get that.
Me:
thrust
God:
" But I did not get that."? thrust?
Me:
*thrust*
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
>.>
God:
I haven't read anything by gt. What did he write? I have never heard of it.
Me:
>.>
God:
Are we still talking about gt? Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
*thrust*
God:
I haven't read anything by thrust. What did he write?
Me:
Thrust
God:
What else did he write?
Me:
*Thrust*
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Thrust
God:
Hi there Thrust.
Me:
*thrust*
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
COME HERE LITTLE BOY!
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
So we're back to he beginning are we?
God:
Alright then. Do you think I am back to he beginning are we too?
Me:
SHUT UP!
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Awesome.
God:
I'm glad you liked it Thrust.
Me:
*gags*
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
Thrust*
God:
Oh yeah, now I remember.
