My mind's so full of these memories, I'm not sure what to do with myself. I'm crying one minute, laughing the next. I'm scared of what these emotions will make me do. I'm depressed.. well hell, I'm always depressed. And I'm just.. ready to let go. I'm not strong enough to let go. >.< I just miss him so much. I can't stop thinking about him. I'm ready to move on.. I think. But I can't until I find someone good enough to replace him. >.< He's still here. I can still hear him. I'm so lost without him. </3 I feel weak for missing him so much. I feel like i can't be independent. I can't be alone, right now. But it seems like I'm fighting this battle alone. I just want someone to hold me like he did. And i bet you I'm asking for too much. I don't deserve anyone like him. Sometimes I blame myself for what happened. Haha >.< I just find it nearly impossible to be happy. I mean, there's that one feeling of mid-joy when I smile, But it's just a mask.. And I want to be happy. More then anything in this world. My emotions ruin everything. Sometimes I think I'm just a b***h. Gwah. >.<
Darkness of Dawn · Sat Jan 09, 2010 @ 07:21am · 0 Comments |