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Every vile and vicious word you ever spoke was hidden behind soft and soothing lullabies
Till the moment i realized
Were you ever a father to me? I think not. Will you ever be one? Another no to that.
My heart breaks because you can't accept me. I am as if the perfect daughter that you reject.
Because I won't take vodka tonics to my lips or have guys attatched to my hips
Or scream words that go against all i ever went for.
This is who I am. The Christian Girl. The one who "ruins the fun" Who never talks. Who dates the guy that, yes, is a Worship Leader at church and is a little bit older than me.
Thanks, Dad. For telling me "it's your body, do what you want"
Well I, Ashley, Am not like your other kids. The ones who smoke, drink, curse, screw. The ones that live of this world. I'm different. Okay?
Will you ever be a father? I think not.
Ashamed it is that I loved you so. Called every holiday, visited when I can. And yet you can't return words or love or kindness to me? Is it because you have no grand-kids from me? Or that I'm not your son, just a girl.
A girl with a 4.0 who is screaming for your attention.
I'll never get it.
When will I learn
That you were never a father.
And will most likely never EVER be on to me.