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Anger Becomes Our Queen
Just random stuff in here... Lyrics, thoughts, whatever I'm interested in posting is going to end up here...obviously
Burdened by a blessing
So many people like to look at intelligence as a blessing, as a gift. Hell, a lot of schools nowadays even have classes specifically for these "gifted" people. As an intelligent person, you get good grades, solve problems quickly and easily, give good advice, and keep good morals. You hardly get into trouble at school and/or at home. You would never get mixed up in sex, drugs, alcohol, or other activities that peers would press you to do. You always take the higher path and do not fall to bad influences. You help others constantly, keep a positive attitude. and never have any major major problems. All drama floats past you, you never let guys break your heart, you never have horrible horrible fights with your best friend, and you never live with a fear of embarrassment or humiliation. To everyone else, your a saint, a leader, people want to be like you. People want to BE you. but nobody understands you.

I see intelligence as more of a curse, a burden, something that life would be easier lived without. Your thought processes run deeper, longer, thicker, and more complicated than the rest. You tackle difficult and often touchy subjects everyday in your own mind. Most days you wake up to the sound of wars being waged in your head. But should you ever let one of these thoughts slip out, all is lost, people stare at you, judge you, and see you as either immature or "not all there". Nobody understands the reasons behind the things you do or say, and why WOULD they? After all, they're not "blessed" like you are are they? So you keep all of your deepest thoughts locked inside and continue through your day doing as you always have. Good student, good friend, good child, good influence, nut at what cost? It wears you down little by little over time.

Your deepest burning passion is to lash out at the world and shove all your thoughts, feelings, opinions, observations and what have you, down everyone else's throat in the most violent and painful way imaginable. You want to yell and scream, you want to break things, you want to do the wrong thing just for the hell of it. You want to do whatever you have to do to get this sickness out of you, and you want this with every fiber of your being and yet you still don't because your own intelligence stands in your way. So what do you do instead? You break down and cry. You over-think the smallest situations and before long you look up and see that your entire body is trembling, your eyes are red and swollen, and your cheeks are soaking wet with tears. Now what?
You get up, wipe the tears from your face and unlock your bedroom door. You carry on with your life with that big fake smile on your face. Still reaching out to others but at the same time realizing that your probably spreading yourself too thin. until the next day, when it starts all over again. And each time you secretly break down in the safety of your room you wonder why you can't just be naive like the rest? Why can't you just be a LITTLE ignorant? Why can't you make mistakes, do something really stupid just once or twice? Why can't your biggest problems be about boys or grades or parents? And why must you ALWAYS CRY for people you don't even know? Why must you ALWAY have the answers? Do people realize that the person they say is their hero secretly wishes to do everything that is wrong imaginable just for the HELL of it?

When no one understands you, you have no place, no voice, so why is intelligence considered a GOOD thing?





 
 
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