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My mom is trying to be my friend, and I appreciate it. I need a bit of help getting back up. Lawlz. I pushed one friend out of my life only to have another push me away. I just didn't want to be friends with Kitsua anymore. I don't know how to explain it other than that. I tried to call her and tell her directly over the phone but she would never be there and when I'd ask her to call back she wouldn't so I left a voice message. As everyone knows, it was Teej's birthday a month ago? I was on vacation and then went straight back to the apartment so I never got to see her to give the gift to her. Dev and I got her a necklace from Macy's. It's really nice. Any hoot, I wanted her to tell me her schedule so I could give it to her in person but she never contacted me then I realized I was home so I could give it to her so I asked if she was home. She said no but I went over anyway, she was home. That should have been the sign to me that something was wrong. She took the gift and slammed the door in my face, scowling at me and hardly speaking. I asked her why she was mad at me and she told me that she didn't want to talk to me. She didn't want to be friends anymore because she felt like we weren't compatible. ... my sister.

This is actually really close to the anniversary of our first fight where we weren't friends by her standards ironically. Lawlz, stab me in the heart. This time there is no going back. I've already started deleting her off my account of things and taken her out of my phone. I kinda laugh cause I have this message I saved from her, direct quote, "Ne Nana...ill always be by your side, ok? Even if I cant express myself i still want to see you smile" Lawlz, seriously kill me now...

It sux, no lie.

I need new friends. My mom is pestering and drilling that phrase into me. I don't want to leave my old friends! I love them and always have. I still love those I have pushed out of my life, ironically. It's like they'd all be better off without me. Lawlz. Imma not gonna do anything stupid.

I think it's time I wrote all those letter goodbye to old friends. Closure if good for the soul. -sigh- I hate letters DX