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Now I have come down with a freakin cold. My throat is killing me, my nose is running & I feel very stuffy. The medicine I took at 5 this morning had me feeling very drowsy at work after 9am & after I left at 1pm. I'm still sleeping very much & apparently I may not work or be poor enough to even recieve food stamps for food that I desperately need.
I can't pay my half of every bill, the rent, & buy necessities for myself while having to pay the full price of groceries it's just too ******** much. They readily gave my roommate her food stamps without much of a fight, but we don't buy food for each other because we eat very differently & she gives all her food away to the random friends that come over every other day or more like they come over & empty our fridge every weekend. I'm very food aggressive, what one calls a dog a resource garder, and I don't readily give up food that I purchase with every intent on eating myself. I'm also extremely passive aggressive about it & while it may seem I don't mind you being in my home 3-5 days at a time eating anything that's in my fridge I'll want you out as soon as the first carton/bottle/box/jar/jug etc. is empty & I've only had 1 or 2 helpings of whatever it is.
I'm no longer a very open lets share everything type of person anymore without having some type of hesitation or regret in doing it. I used to readily share anything... well except food I guess I've always been iffy on the food, but now I don't want other people taking what I feel belongs to me after I've put out money for it. I don't have the type of money intake where I won't care about treating other people.
I'm struggling as it is with maintaining my mental stability & emotional wellbeing & her stupid friends & girlfriend aren't helping by urging her to do stuff that makes the financial situation worse.
I was the outsider before we all met at school & it looks like that's never going to change because I'm changing & people don't seem to like that despite the fact that they're the ones who caused it. I didn't just start hating people for absolutely no reason with no provocation.