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Wow time to update the journal. Um lately I've felt very... depressed. Over what I have no clue! I feel just as bad in my days that I was cutting but haven't had the urge to hurt myself yet, I plan on not doing so to begin with. Then once again at school by quite a few people I get yelled at. "You didn't sit with me yesterday, I want you to today." and "But Jessica that doesn't matter. You'll just fail another test and be within average of the class but no you freak out with a B on your interm." But other than that I can deal with it I'm just getting sick of it. Maybe high school won't be that bad without some people. Though I really don't like taking guitar lessons. I can't play my own electric guitar plugged. It has to be unplugged for me to practice at home and sound good. Plugged I just ******** up so that isn't anything new. I guess I'll just suck up the next I think two or three lessons and not touch the guitar ever again because it feels like a curse. Honestly I never much asked for a guitar, and when I do get it, I don't want it. Delayed gratification doesn't bode well with me. I've been writing angry poems or depressing ones. I want to be a vegitarian so bad, I hate the taste of meat now. Almost to the point that I never want to eat. Maybe that is some phycological problem... I need to get a physical before high school so maybe I can ask then... I need to loose wieght too... I'll start by not eating candy and work my way to the sodas. Oh and taking a lot more walks with my dog and dad. I'm still working on my new years resolution! I've read five books so far to my goal of ten. But I got to read three books for summer work so those won't count. Now this is just going into a ramble so I'm going to stop now while I still have time to work on a bit of homework before school.
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