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Ok... Just a bloody FYI for people that didn't know... I haven't been online for over a week now because gaia is stressing me out.

And no I haven't had my online status to show that I'm not online when I have been online. Thats just stupid. I just haven't been online period.

And yes I did cut myself when I put up that suicide status, though you can't see the cuts because they've already healed up and I never took pics. So i have no proof of doing it.

And I know I should have changed my suicide status not to worry people to all heck or to make people i really did myself in. I was tempted though... I really was.. I did have a kitchen knife up to my throat, but i just couldn't do it.. Just couldn't. You can either believe that happened or not, thats up to you, but a majority of you probably won't.

And I'm sorry for not being here online for some people, to try to help them out with stuff.

Now on with whats happened in the past week.

Um.... I'm still not working.. But the FedEx job is looking more real...

I went on a Father & Son Camp out with my church, which is kinda of funny since my dad is dead, but there is one guy there that I would love to consider being a cool step-dad. Hes always been there for me and he invited me to the camp out. So ya.. crying

We all had tons of fun, lots of good food. Yum! heart
The played with Airsoft guns and fake swords. biggrin
The Stars were so beautiful because of no city lights and clouds. I could see the whole sky. It was amazing. 3nodding

The depressing part of the camp out was that when we were leaving, they say a rattle snake on the road, they stopped the car, everyone got out with their Airsoft guns and what i would say, went on a blood thirst rage on the snake. I got a few pictures of it still alive, but... they killed it without mercy... it was sickening and they kept talking about the snake in the car. my gosh, I felt like i was gonna throw up and i told them to stop talking about it and that it was making me sick. Thankfully they stopped. But still... it was so.. disturbing. The only reason they killed it was so they could cook it and eat it... thats all. I'm like.. wth. stressed

ugh.. i guess an hour passed til I could get it out of my head enough to think straight and stop being sick.

At the last point of driving back, Tom, the guy i would love to be my step dad, said i could drive the rest of the way back home, which of course of awesome because we had a trailer attached to the truck. So first time driving with a trailer. biggrin

I hung out at his place for a few hours with a few of the other kids which was lots of fun. Played on the trampoline and fired almost a dozen arrows with a compact bow, which was so hard. xd had to pull like 70 pounds worth just to let an arrow go. eek

Had to drop off one of the kids at their house and hung out there till like 10pm. lol. Had dinner over there and washed dishes at there place. haha kinda to give me a reason to be there sweatdrop

I just didn't want to go home I guess. ehh neutral
One of the kids there asked me to stay their over night. haha. I was tempted to, but I was in dirt ridden clothes and needed to wash up at home. So i declined.

Went home jumped in the hot warm tub, fell asleep for an hour in there, got out, and went to my bed to fall asleep. biggrin

I'm gonna go to church today and go to some dinner thing right after. Should be fun, i guess.

Oh ya I've been crocheting a heart shaped pillow for the past week too, its almost done. I just need to crochet 2 squares, sew the pieces together, and stuff. should look awesome. 3nodding

Heres the link to the pattern for the pillow if anyone is interested. Heart Shaped Pillow Pattern

Well I guess thats it for now.. I know I won't be on gaia as much anymore because I don't really like being on here as much, its lost its fun appeal. I might pop in once in a while, but not for hours upon hours every day like I used to.

Well take care..