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All my gaian friends will have to forgive me. I've had some terrible mood swings this week and everything is a mess. I may not be on much at all until mid-december, really, since there's some things I need to focus on for a bit.

I don't know what it is but I've had about three days of horrible mood swings and I have yet to see my period. At this point, I'm really hoping to see it, otherwise, I'm going to need more than Ibuprofen to fix it. Its been freaking me out and pissing me off at the same time. My anger has been at a very short fuse and I don't normally cry two days in a row. I've had a few cases where its been taking everything that I have to not tear certain people to shreds because of doing something stupid or just being their cocky selves that always irked me lightly before. Fortunately, I've been able to channel it into sailor speak instead. Although, that isn't much more of an improvement, considering that everyone hears. My back muscles have become so tense that I'm constantly sore and things are, overall, not fun to do in the least. I've been so stressed. I actually developed stomach aches twice and 24-hour mild headaches.

At this point, I'm just sitting and waiting for my period so that I don't have the insatiable urge to tear someone limb from agonizing limb. And when they fall off their high-horse and scream, I only have the urge to slap them across the face in mockery of their pain, silencing them and simply watch them bleed.

Let me just say that I don't particularly enjoy the fact that my anger has come to this point in time. So far, one of the only solutions that I have thought of in another fit of rage was that I needed to vent this out physically. IE: a punching bag. A hard one. I need something to kick and yell at and I think that a punching bag would be the most effective. (The last time I had a small anger problem, I thought the wall would help me. Let's just say, thank god it was during vacation and the people who owned the place were convinced it was none of our doing. I visited the place again a year or two later and could still see where the hole was with the slightly off-colored plaster). Breaking pencils isn't covering it anymore. I need something much bigger that can absorb my blows long enough for me to wear myself out. That way, I'd be too tired to be angry and I think it would be best not to use something that would threaten to break my knuckles or toes if I hit a little too hard.

Ok, I'm going to go take a long shower now.....I NEED it.

FYI for anyone who knows me in real life. If you're even slightly suspicious that you might be on my hit-list. You probably are and you might want wear running shoes (I might cool off if I run out of breath sooner). So please, RUN. I don't know what will set me off but if its bad enough and my cursing becomes far too colorful, I'll need to hit something, break something, injure myself to divert attention, or come after the cause of the trigger (that will come last and by then, I should be beaten down enough for people to make a plan of escape or knock me out).