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UH! I swear! why can't they listen to me! I Didn't want to go on a ******** walk though the park but they make me come anyways! I know its not a big deal but it ******** made me mad on the inside which made me start thinking which made me MADER! Which since I was raised this ******** way made me cry!

Yeah I was ******** raised to be a crybaby, a snitch, and a complainer. All 3 which can be traced back into my upbringing. The crybaby was when I was yound and they told me no volience. I get that but thats also where the snitch came in. If someone made me really mad or made fun of me as a kid, I can't hit them, and knew no other way of letting ALL the anger out so I kept it bottled in me. After holing it in so long it just came out in tears and made me feel better. For a long time no one told me this wasn't right. Everyone always seems so happy so I didn't think at all tha it was wrong.

The complainer is just a over time thing. Again its linked to the not listening. They ******** won't just listen to me when I say s**t so I have to complain it in order for them to hear! THEN THEY ******** LISTEN! but no it make a complete cycle of hate for me becuase when I complain then they well at me to shut the hell up, then I try to explain why I was complaining and they tell me to shut up again! which in turn makes me angry which I already explained makes me cry! -like now-

All this s**t over a walk to the damn park. They just can't ******** wrap their minds around the fact WHEN I ******** SAYING IT CLEAR AS DAY! that I like solitude. I LOVE to look at nature, walk, and listen to music

ALONE

I don't want to be ******** walking with anyone besides maybe my dog. Thats only becuase I can feel safe and she doesn't ******** say anything or bark. I don't how ever want to go with them, if I have to be with someone Id rather just stay home and play DDR with my mother like always.

ALSO! THIS IS STARTING TO MAKE ME REALLLLY ******** MAD IS MY MOTHER GIVEING ME TIPS ON HOW TO LOSE WEIGHT! SHUT UP! SHUT THE HELL UP! IM HAPPY WITH THE WAY I AM DO YOU NOT GET THAT! I know loseing some weight will help me and that she does mean well but its really not the thing I want to hear when I get home wanting to relax. Uh my eyes hurt from crying, and yeah becuase im mad...Oh the park crap! yeah I wanted to be along becuase then I don't have anyone there to remind me of thing I don't want to remember! In this case it was that I CAN'T ******** DO ANYTHING!

I can't go to a friends to hang out unless they know thier parents
I can't go to the mall with a friend unless they see the friend enter with me or you guessed it! they know the parents
I can't WALK ALONE IN THE PARK
I can't ....I can't...........................

I just can't live a life outside my home





now that I don't want to be mad anymore my friend cookie made a list of things she know about me...when I look at it I can at least know theres 1 person listening (Real life wise)

Your name is Deanna Garcia.
You don’t have a middle name
Your Mexican and Irish…or Italian I forget.
Your birthday is November 16th
You’re 17
You are heterosexual.
You’re a scopio
You don’t like the sound of Mr. D’s voice.
You love to write fanfiction
You did poems but Mrs. J only chose the one about when fell of your skis
You can DDR
You’re somewhat on standard.
You gave up on losing weight because you love food.
You want a boyfriend
You work hard in school but your parents think you can do better.
You are cosplaying as Hinata who should be dead
You like to read manga
You like stories with character depth
I believe you have 4 or 5 gaia accounts
Girls like Tibi and Collin annoy you
Your parents shelter you.
You like to play video games.
You hate chicken wings you prefer the breast
If it looks gross you wont eat it.
You want to go to an art school but you cant afford it.
You get annoyed when I talk about my grades
You have a dog named nina who is very loyal
Your old aol account was pnk1116 because you used to like pink
Your room was pink but you changed it to red.
You love foxes and Kakashi.
You like Nintendo and the Wii
You did not know that I would remember all this