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There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land.

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips the fool's head off.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris."

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.

Most people fear the Reaper. Chuck Norris considers him "a promising Rookie".

Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.

One time, at band camp, Chuck Norris ate a percussionist.

Most people know that Descarte said, "I think, therefore I am." What most people don't know is that that quote continues, "...afraid of Chuck Norris."

When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.

When you open a can of whoop-a**, Chuck Norris pops out.

When Chuck Norris visited the Lincoln Memorial, Abe got up and offered Chuck his seat.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.