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Almost ALL nursery rhymes are twisted. Especially towards certain illegal substances... <.< >.>

SNOW WHITE

Here's what they were into...
Snow White... well duh...
Happy... grass
Sleepy... reds
Grumpy... too much speed
Sneezy... coke
Doc... was a connection
Dopey... EVERYTHING!
Bashful... nothing, he was paranoid on his own

OLD KING COLE

Old King Cole was a merry old soul,
And a merry old soul was he.
He called for his pipe,
and he called for his bowl.
I guess we all know about Old King Cole...

HANSEL AND GRETEL

Discovered the Gingerbread house about 45 minutes after discovering the mushrooms...
"Yeah, I see it too..."

MARY, MARY QUITE CONTRARY

How does your garden grow?
Silver bells, and cockle shells,
and an acre and a half of KILLER s**t!

LITTLE JACK HORNER

Sat in a corner,
eating his Christmas pie.
Stuck in his thumb,
and pulled out a plum,
and said,
"Holy s**t, am I high!"

MARY HAD A LITTLE GRAM LAMB

Mary had a little lamb.
Its stash was white as snow.
And everywhere that Mary went,
They both enjoyed a blow!

LITTLE MISS MUFFET

Sat on her tuffet,
eating her curds and whey.
Along came a spider,
who sat down beside her,
and they wrapped for about an hour and a half.