There have been only three times when I've really cried like this that I can truly remember. I don't remember if Tuck Everlasting had the same effect so I am not going to include it in the list. It broke my heart but I don't remember heaving over it only moping around all night and a river of tears falling out of my eyes helplessly. That's all I remember and these are the ones that stand out in my mind:
1. The first time I have ever cried like this was when I watched Sailor Moon R: The Promise of the Rose. I cried as she died and they played that song. It was the longest and most painful of them I have ever had.
2. When Axel died.
3. After watching the movie Handcock today.
This cry is unlike any other I know of. It is the kind that feels like your heart has been broken. It makes you want to rip it out the tears are so painful and harsh. If you don't let it out the sadness and tears escape and haunt you all day. It is better to get it out all in one sitting even though it is extreemly painful.
I know semi-realize why I have these "tear fits" and I accept it as a weakness. I think, I am not a physcologist so I cannot know for sure and I am still a bit blurry from the last heave, it starts when I witness my (maybe) biggest fear. When you meet the person you were made, destined, for and you cannot be together. When one of them dies or they make a sacrifice they know they will never forget. They could live the most amazing lives together even though it could be breif but instead they make the sacrifice for the other to stay alive or happy. I hate it. It is my biggest fear: finding the person I am meant for and finding they already have someone or are already happy. Finding that one person that understands you and fits you so much and then they don't want you. That is the worst thing that could ever happen to me.
Some other movies have made me cry A LOT but only those three have really made me feel like my heart is being ripped apart. I know that The Girl Who Lept Through Time and Cardcaptor Sakura as well as Fushigi Yugi hadpainful cries but I don't remember them being to the extreme as the others that I listed. Maybe it's because I am alone and I can cry and open myself up like this now as apposed to the others. All I know is that I need to watch a happy movie now ^^ Ta Ta for now
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Fragmented Self who wanders through life like a dreamer and wades through the river of dreams as though it were the only truth left in this world
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