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so i basically haven't been on gaia in forever, and i doubt anyone will ever read this, but I have to let some anger out. and please don't judge me, cause you have no idea how hard my life has been for the past 6 months. basically for all of you who did know me, and well my drama (aka Ladon - please come online again! i ******** miss you ) i don't remember where i left you off, but basically june 16, 2007, i found the most amazing man in my entire life. he made me so god dam happy, and basically i felt our life was perfect. i honestly thought we were going to be together forever. one year and 4 months later, he breaks my heart and dumps me. but not just dumps me, like ******** out of the blue dumps me. since then i have been a mess trying to get my life back together. to make matters worse, my parents are in the middle of a narsty divorce, that honestly is tearing me apart, but you think i say anything about it? no of course not x.X so while i'm trying to cope with my heart being shattered, i'm also dealing with my family being ripped apart.
now as i try to forget about my so amazing guy, whose name is haxton fyi, i end up having rebound guys. not just any though, haxtons best friend. which now that i look back on it - i'm like SO sickened because i honestly never thought about him that way until he came onto me, which basically i only did because haxton was at that party and i wanted to make him so jealous. grr sadly, my plan worked and he fell for me again. which lasted like a week which was one of the best weeks i've had since the break up. we went to the movies, he said he didn't even watch because he couldn't stop looking at me and then we had an amazing afternoon together (spare you the details) and i thought we were totally heading back together. then after a week of cold shoulder, i find out he started liking another girl too and was trying to decide what to do. i was heart broken but i knew he would make the right choice. guess what - he didn't. he started dating the other girl because - get this - of what i did with his friend!
but before he picked this other girl, a really sweet guy JD, came into my life. he was super sweet and treated me with like all the respect a girl could deserve. he'd open the door for me, put me above like everything - it was so cute. but i was all 'haha no, i can't. haxton?' sooo after haxton like RIPPED my heart out again, i decided to give JD a chance. we had a really good run for like A WEEK, then something happened and he backed out like that.
soo recently, there is this other guy i am chasing after and we have a date and i'm sooo excited because i think it might actually work out - i just gotta watch my heart. ooh and JD? yeh he totally came out of no where and was like 'heyy, i miss you - can we hang out?' i was like dumfounded but i said 'yess, only if its like just friends' - yeh well he came onto me and i was all noooooo, but then he hit my weak spot and i caved - turns out he didn't really miss me. he just wanted a quicky. ******** p***k. anyways i just hope that this date works out for me cause i'm tried of assholes, and pricks.
ooh and haxton? is dating that other still - but i dream of him every night. i think of him everyday. i cry over him at least once a day. and every little detail in my life, reminds me of him still.
THANK GOD FOR NIKKI! if it wasn't for the greatest friend in the entire world - i'm sure i would be dead! because i haven't cried so much in my life and - sadly - taken so many pain killers, like i should be in a hospital right now! i love my nikki - the greatest friend in the world!
heart heart heart
 MiirandaDoll- · Wed Jan 14, 2009 @ 04:42am · 2 Comments |
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