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	My Life if you read this you will learn my true thoughts on my life and just life itself. So I hope that you enjoy.

	How I Got To Be How I Am
	How I Got To Be How I Am

today felt like any other day. long yet not long enough. every second seems a minute, every minute feels an hour, an hour a day, day a wek, week a month, month well you probably get the idea by now. and if not then let me clear it up for you : my birthday was an August yet it felt like an eternity ago. yet it seems like it only happaned yesterday. i bet your wondering how i ended up feeling like this. its a long story but ill make it short. my sister left us our home in Feb because she didnt like the idea of cleaning her room and coming home at 10 during the week. pretty pathetic reason huh? well she left to live at some girls house who was really stupid. she treated her parents like dirt. well back to my sister. she was yelling and screaming and just flipping out. her room looked like a tornado came through it. i was busy falling apart in the living room to pay much attention to what was being said and done. i just had one thought i wanted to scream at her to force her to answer. its still on my mind: why? why did she have to leave? why did she have to do this to us? why did she have to rip me and her even further apart? i cried every night, i counted the days untill she returned. that day was something i longed for and feared. what would happen when she returned? would it be like it was? would it be worse or better? ill give you the answer: worse. in between the leaving and the return i talked to my sister i think twice the whole six months that she was gone. both times i wanted to tell her what she did to my mom and dad but also to me. i was filled with hatred and sadness and when i talked to her.... sadness prevailed. i cried as soon as i heard her voice. i cried on Easter when she wasn't there, i cried myself to sleep, i was always just on the brink of tears where ever i went. certain words would just rip my mind to shreds, certain thoughts and memories would just shatter my facade of happiness i had. luckily i only truly thought hard about her at home so if i felt tears coming i could just close my eyes and pretend i was tired. i read alot. to me during that really hard time and from now on reading and music were my escape. the reading made me think about the characters so much i would almost forget. almost. if i didnt have a book i was hurting. before i was a very happy girl. i laughed and smiled truly smiled and talked alot, but when she left i never truly smiled, of course i smiled though i had to at least pretend that i wasnt dead inside. im not fully alive but im getting pretty close. well not pretty close im only about 45%. and thats the story of how my life turned into such a bleak and emotionless existance. thats it for today. ill probably right more tomorrow but im tired right now so bye.

TheGothicSkaterChick

EMOtionalTeen14 · Tue Dec 23, 2008 @ 03:34am · 0 Comments


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TheGothicSkaterChick

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