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this is serious... last night i was really pissed off and went to the park and started writing


i used to long for the day that i would die but now for the first time in a long time i am actually afraid. i now see death as an enemy and he is the only one that can take me and death decides if i stay or not. why must we die i constantly ask myself if God is so perfect how could he have created such a screwed up world why could he not just make us perfect i hate not knowing but at the same time i dont want to know. i now love this world and because i have learned to love it i know that i must die too soon. now that i am not afraid to die death always seems too close im scared and i feel helpless. i look around and ask myself why the hell would people want to live like this? this is terrible but at the same time we all want to stay and i think i now know why. you see, the love that i give this one girl and the love she gives back is the reason to want to stay at this piont i am ready to die but i dont want to and that scares me i dont know what i am doing any more but i know that itll all work out some how just have to have faith.

and remember that the people you love cannot be taken for granted