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wondering why i dont date? |
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still wondering?
ha! you asked for it . . .
Ah. . . john. he was my first boyfriend. before him i had minor crushes, but i NEVER dared tell anyone. . . i always had issues because other girls would tell my crushes that they liked him and they believed those girls. so when i met john, naturally i made a move. yeah it worked fine. . . . then i found out he was gay a year later, in middle school.
yeah needless to say, i was ridiculed.
then Chris.
a true sweet heart, someone just like me, a loner, someone who just doesnt fit in, who actually knows what im going through. . . or so i thought. i over heard his friends talking about me in the lunch line. . . turns out it was a bet to get down my pants.
i was PISSED . . . and thats putting it mildly.
Zachary Muth . . . my best friend. . .
i met him my first year of high school.
he was quiet, liked music and played guitar as well as could sing. i love hanging out with him. . . he was exactly what i thought a true love was. . . thins had been great, immature as he was i loved him. overtime i became bemused my that immaturity. . . and more he mocked the things i loved. . . he made me indifferent to them. . . to the point where he was my life. . . so controlling, over protective, and envious like you would not believe!!! it was him and only him almost 24 hours a day and EVERYDAY! everything i said made me a "Hypocrite" when i wasnt happy with something he did i was a "b***h" he controlled EVERYTHING, and he made me do EVERYTHING! when i rebelled, i "got in his way" (yeah i got in his way once . . . ended up with a black eye, told my mom i got elbowed in the face in the lunch line, by accident.) i no longer feared hell because HE was my personal hell.
he really made me embrace death . . . to want an escape from life over an escape from the relationship.
he was the true death of me. . . .
my mother, i give her so much damn respect!
strongest woman you will EVER meet!
abused by her parents, raped at 18, married her best friend only to be brutally abused by him, married my father (who knew all of this) who ended up cheating on her 4times! i love my mother more than anything in the world, and i want nothing but the best for her. . .
father . . . for a man in the navy, you'd think he would be a role model.
wrong! instead he cheats lies and wants nothing to do with us (his family)
with all this, you'd think i hate men . . . your right to an extent . . .
yes i hate men, but only those who treat the GOOD women, the ones only out for true love, the ones who always get taken advantage of.
but i respect more than anything the men who want true love, the ones who dont sleep around, who would NEVER take advantage of a woman.
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so because of this, i set up a challenge.
its open to every man in this world.
i have a week spot for this type of man. if you are a lucky man and can figure this "flaw out" then im yours.
i will be paying attention to ever detail. (im very observant (practically psychic) , so ill know things about you, that you would think are impossible for any one to know, and if i see something i don't like then i will tell you straight up stop trying.
oh . . . and don't bother lying to me. . . i really am psychic when it comes to lying. and i hate those who lie more than anything.
im done. . .
good night and good luck
 Roukan Ookami · Wed Dec 03, 2008 @ 12:56am · 4 Comments |
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