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Ever reach that point where life seems to be kicking you when you're down? Where you look in your corner for someone to help and its empty? I reached that point today I think. I needed to talk to him and he wasn't there. Its cool though I know he has his own life and I want him to live it.

Wanitng someone HERE when they are THERE puts a strain on you. The miles seem like they never end and the clock only ticks slower.

I'm lonely right now. I feel I'm on an island and I can't get off of it. I'm homesick. I want to come home and forget about all this stuff. I want the clock to go backwards. I want some one here to hold me right now. I'm tired of there being no one in my corner to help me fight whatever life throws at me.

Yeah yeah yeah... I know God's in my corner but i want some one physical. I need to feel the arms around me. I need to feel safe.

I would give anything right now for someone to show up and hug me. No, not hug, Hugs are so temporary. I want someone to hold me. I just want to open my door and see someone i know with their arms open wide. I need a place to hide right now.

I've put up walls and tried to be independent but its not working for me. My wall has fallen down and i realize that I need some one. I can't do things on my own anymore. I need some one to help me get through this.

Honestly the person i want standing on the other side of the door is my friend Will. He's helped me through so much stuff and I dont think he knows it. But he won't do it. He wont be there on the other side of the door because we're not buddy buddy.

I don't smile anymore you guys and I want to. But its kinda hard to do that when I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle thats stuck on repeat. Everyday just feels the same. One let down after another. I want to come home but i have to stay here. I'm stuck. I need help.