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Haha, I've really neglected my journal lately. I suppose its because I've been a little too busy and when I actually have something to say, I've kept it under wraps since I know people still read this and its kinda personal sweatdrop Besides, my homework never really gave me any time to think about anything else.

*sigh* well I've decided to drop sociology for now. I really like the class but the homework is too much on the pile. You'd think I'd have more time on weekends but, for some reason, I can never get enough work done then. Fridays are a flat out no because I'm at work all day and when I get home, all I want to do is sit down and rest. I work saturdays too but not as long and when I get off, something usually happens, like everyone going to see a movie or something. So I usually save the work for sunday but, half the time, I end up sleeping in or something and wake up with a headache that lasts until at least 5 and by then I'd only have 5 hours to finish anything. Given that the majority of my homework is essays, that's not very fun.

I think I might take up sociology again next semester or when my homework isn't as bad. I just hope mom and dad will be okay with it (I haven't told them yet because I'm a little worried I'll be yelled at sweatdrop They normally take school grades more seriously than I'd like).

On a lighter note, I think my art class is great. I know its only been a few weeks but I can already tell that my drawings are improving and the teacher says I have a lot of potential 3nodding He also said that I seem to be learning the class' ideas on a sort of...unspoken level. As in, he doesn't actually need to explain anything to me in words. He shows me a style and I figure out its basics. Its always nice to hear someone say you're smarter than you think. TvT I never say it much, but half the time, I just want people to know that there's more to me than a smile, you know? I like it when people see that there are actually wheels turning in there, observing, taking note, sifting.

In fact I think that's why I approach people as a smiling fool at first. Its a lot easier to talk to a fool sometimes, I've noticed. I learn more about someone faster that way. But I don't act like a complete retard all the time. Its really weird how it works. Half the time it feels like I'm taking it all down to use as ransom money later. Anyone else ever get that feeling? I have a crazy dark side that likes to take everyone's weaknesses to its advantage ninja

Although, I think it best to keep hidden, but it doesn't always work out as well as I prefer. Sometimes my darker side likes to come out when I'm under stress. Sometimes its brutal, sometimes its not. Lol, what always scares me the most is that I like it. I don't want to worry or scare my friends but, for some reason, when my darker side comes out, I actually breath it in and let it consume me. Its often too overpowering to resist.

Hahaha! I actually have images of this incredible darkness all the time and it always brings a smile to my face domokun Then I just have the urge to slash at something and laugh wickedly. Its rather intoxicating, really. That darkness is part of the personality I like to call Dox 3nodding The one everyone sees most often is Para 3nodding . But they're both definately a part of the same being. Its really weird but I enjoy it most of the time...odd.

Hehe...you know what would likely freak out anyone that knows me on a day-to-day basis? Those images of darkness and wicked laughter occur at least once a day domokun

~Souzou out!
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Deliciously evil! 4laugh