Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I hate hurting people. I'm a b***h and just an all around horrible person and I can't help but hurt people it seems. I didn't mean to hurt Ryan... I really, honestly didn't. But talking to Mishi, where he keeps pointing out that Ryan's even further away than he is and I have even less chance of meeting him. God, I'm selfish and a b***h and I can't believe I'm doing this. What is wrong with me?
I just can't do those relationships where I can't even get a hug from someone I love. I just.... I tried that once and couldn't do it. I'm also soooo worried that I'm gonna overstep my bounds and cheat on him. I've already come dangerously close to doing something I almost regretted with a friend who has a girlfriend. Why? Why do I constantly have to hurt those people I love. Maybe Mishi was right and it is in my nature.....